RabinFest 2005 - Where were YOU when Rabin was shot?
The Forum
Jameel Rashid: Good evening! I'm Jamil Rashid, welcome to "The Forum". This week marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Yitzchak Rabin. I suppose every Israeli remembers where they were and what they were doing when they heard that the Prime Minister had been shot. Now, this week we have asked three Israelis, chosen completely at random, to come on the show and tell us their stories. What is your name, Sir?
Shlomi: Uh, Shlomi.
Jameel Rashid: Okay, Shlomi. Do you remember where you were when you heard that Rabin was dead?
Shlomi: I sure do, Jameel. I'll never forget it. I was a freshman at Hebrew University at the time, and I remember walking across the campus to go to class, and I heard a couple of guys talking. They were talking..
Jameel Rashid: [ interrupting ] Whoa, whoa, whoa.. hold on a second. How old are you?
Shlomi: I'm 25.
Jameel Rashid: Mmm-hmm.
Shlomi: So, anyhow, I was walking across the campus, right? And I heard these two guys..
Jameel Rashid: I..I'm sorry, Shlomi. I don't mean to interrupt you again. You were 15 years old, and you were a freshman at Hebrew University?
Shlomi: No, no, no, it was last year, I was 24. Anyhow, I was walking across campus, and I saw these two guys talking..
Jameel Rashid: Hold on, Shlomi. Again, I'm sorry. Let me get this straight - you didn't know that Yitzchak Rabin had been shot for nine years?
Shlomi: Well, Jameel, you know, I was never really big, you know, on current events..
Jameel Rashid: We're talking about the Prime Minister getting shot, here! I mean, Yitzchak Rabin the Historic Leader of Israel, IDF Chief of Staff, Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, Founder of the Oslo Accords! How could you have missed it?
Shlomi: Well, you know.. I usually turn to the Sports page first. I like to catch that first.
Jameel Rashid: [ exasperated ] The Sports page?! This was one of the biggest stories of the decade!
Shlomi: Well, maybe it was a big story in Ramalla, but..
Jameel Rashid: This was not a local story! I can't believe this! Have you ever heard anything so stupid in your life?
Shlomi: [ defensive ] Yeah, well, I'm sure I know a lot more about sports than you do!
Jameel Rashid: Fine! Fine! [ turning to the next guest ] Uh, what's your name, please?
Anat: Anat.
Jameel Rashid: Tell me, Anat, how did you first hear that Yitzchak Rabin had been shot?
Anat: Well, Jameel, this is a little embarrassing, considering what transpired here.. but, uh.. he told me. [ indicates Shlomi ]
Jameel Rashid: What?!
Anat: Backstage. Just before the show.
Jameel Rashid: You mean, you didn't know about the Rabin assasination until tonight?!
Shlomi: [ laughing proudly ] What a tembel (dork), Jameel!
Jameel Rashid: Have you people been in a coma, or what?
Anat: Well, I.. I must have been watching another channel..
Jameel Rashid: [ outraged ] Another channel?! It was on all the channels! He was the Prime Minister, for God's sake! Everybody on Earth knew about it the day it happened, except for you two people sitting right here!!
Third Guest: Uh, excuse me. Are you people talking about Yitzchak Rabin?
Jameel Rashid: Yes!
Third Guest: Oh, what. Did something happen?
Anat: He's.. he's been shot.
Third Guest: Oh, no! No! No, he's been shot! [ starts weeping ]
Jameel Rashid: [ disgusted ] That's it for me. Join us next week on "The Forum", when our guest will be Gil Shwed , the founder of CheckPoint, the first firewall software company in Israel.
Shlomi: [ intrigued ] Wait a minute.. you mean, there are high tech companies…in Israel?
Jameel Rashid: [ angry ] Yes!
Shlomi: [ excited ] Alright! [ turns to Anat ] Give me five! I can't believe it! In Israel!
--end--
Postscript: I was a kid when this was first aired on Saturday Night Live in 1983, and could not forget it. It kept me laughing all night long. In the US, this was considered very funny at the time. You can be sure that there will be people in Israel who read this and will want to kill me. Oh well.
You can do better than to recycle someone else's old scripts.
ReplyDeleteI was expecting something much better.
Try it again from the beginning please.
I hadn't seen the SNL bit so I found it quite funny.
ReplyDeleteHey, if yer gonna steal that was some pretty good material!
While will people in Israel want to kill you? You never said that your guests were Israel? Maybe they were all ignorant Americans...with ummmm.... really Israeli names??
"first aired on Saturday Night Live in 1983"
ReplyDeletehuh, the assasiantion was in 1995.
1983??? Did you meen 2003? In any case, funny. If it were real, the thought police probably would have locked the 3 of them up until they were fully indoctronated.
ReplyDeleteoops... never mind just went to the link - see it was about Kennedy. 1983 works fine.
ReplyDeleteJameel,
ReplyDeleteHow's work going? I was a little surprised to see you here...
'83 was twenty years after Kennedy.
ReplyDeleteI should know, since I can tell you where I was and what I was doing, and some of you weren't even near to being hatched.
batya:
ReplyDeleteAnd sum of us were just about to be hatched.
Jameel:
As with Shifra I didn't remember the SNL original, but I did get a kick out of both versions.
JoeSettler: After thinking about your comment, I remember why I didn't make it funnier or modify it more. To prove the point that you can take something rather funny from the US which is considered totally acceptable, yet when you switch the names around and adopt to Israel - you have insulted Israel's greatest leader of all time. And are guilty of being a danger to democracy.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3163675,00.html
ReplyDeleteNot bad. I never heard it before, so it got a few chuckles out of me. But I'll tell you something even funnier. I do remember where I was when he was shot. I was listening to a motz"sh melava malka shmuez from the one and only master kiruv clown himself - R' Orlofsky! After it was over I went up to my room and heard about the assassination from my roommates. (Of course such an event didn't warrant interrupting the main attraction of the night.)
ReplyDeleteSorry dude, this CRAP is a whole lot funnier.
ReplyDeleteWhat was that about you not wanting to get arrested for incitement?!
ReplyDeletePurpleParrot: Does that mean you didn't smirk even a little bit?
ReplyDeleteI had just finished reading a report in the jerusalem report about the pulsa denura that had been put on Rabin z"l by the kabbalists, that was scheduled to run out that Sunday morning. Anyone else remember that?
ReplyDeleteTRK: I think my next post will be on the history of the Pulsa Denura.
ReplyDeleteI remember precisely -
ReplyDeleteOn that day, I was busy in my lair when one of my flunkies knocked on the window and told me that, "Rabin's dead", and that I should turn on my rarely-used TV which I had for just such an occasion to check it out...
At which point, as soon as the tube warmed up and the talking-head crybabies spelled it out, how Rabin had just been plugged, I burst out laughing so hard the broad who happened to be laying in my bed decided she better split, and never came back [which is good, because I was tired of all that snoring].
The reason she split, is also the reason I was laughing so hard, which she, too, knew: my "master plan" had actually succeeded flawlessly.
What's even better, is people are still talking about it after all these years, still speculating.
That's all I'll say for now on this matter, just remember you heard it here first, when you get the rest of it in about 10-20 years or so...
Truth.
Hmmm...I was coming back from a late night jaunt to Jerusalem with my father, who was visiting at the time. I think we went out for Sushi. Which is what usually happens at some point when the folks visit. This of course was before the chumra police got to the badatz and decided that seaweed should be treif gamor.
ReplyDeleteAnyway...I remember seeing the skit in reruns. Will you be doing a rewrite of the even more classic...
This just in! Buckwheat has been shot!