One of the fears of every Oleh/Olah to Israel is that G-d forbid their child may not have the same passion for Israel as their parents and consider moving to the land their parents emmigrated from.
As a service to Olim, enclosed is a handy list of names you can use to name your children. These names will seriously hamper their ability to move (or even visit) English-speaking countries... feel free to add your own :)
Snir שניר (Hey, get that sneer of your face!)
Tahell תהל (Go Tahel, Go on...you can do it...Go Tahel)
Nofit נופית (Has anyone seen No-Feet's sandals?)
Dudu דודו (Dudu, do yu have to go to bathroom?)
Urea אוריה (ditto)
Moran מורן (Moron, that was great! You must be one of the smartest in your class)
Osnot אוסנת (Can someone please get a tissue for her?)
Sagi שגיא (Your cornflakes have been left drowning in milk for WAY too long...)
As a service to Olim, enclosed is a handy list of names you can use to name your children. These names will seriously hamper their ability to move (or even visit) English-speaking countries... feel free to add your own :)
Snir שניר (Hey, get that sneer of your face!)
Tahell תהל (Go Tahel, Go on...you can do it...Go Tahel)
Nofit נופית (Has anyone seen No-Feet's sandals?)
Dudu דודו (Dudu, do yu have to go to bathroom?)
Urea אוריה (ditto)
Moran מורן (Moron, that was great! You must be one of the smartest in your class)
Osnot אוסנת (Can someone please get a tissue for her?)
Sagi שגיא (Your cornflakes have been left drowning in milk for WAY too long...)
When I made aliya, a cab driver started ranking on my "What the heck did you make aliya for? There are SO many problems here...its so hard to make a living...there's so many things wrong...Why did you do this???"
I replied, "Don't Worry! I haven't lost my mind -- I'm only staying here for enough time to save up enough money so that I can live comfortably in the United States, and then I'll be on a plane there..."
He almost drove into a lamp post.
Maybe when my grandchildren finish college?
Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael
Thank you for making me smile, while my husband is plotting our yerida.... (Don't worry, we are also buying an apartment here...I think that will win)
ReplyDeleteGood idea, though from what I've heard Anglophone kids tend to socialize with other Anglophone kids.
ReplyDeleteGreat retort to the driver!
nice response!
ReplyDeleteWhat abour Yifat (Yer fat)? Or Noga (snogger)? Or anything with a chet or a raish?
ReplyDeleteYellow Boy
jameel,
ReplyDeleteGreat answer to the Cab driver. My usual answer is a lot more practical. It's usually either - you don't know what you are talking about...
but lately I used, "There are so many problems everywhere in the world, but at least the problems here are mine."
I know I know.. the loony zionist in me.. I am working on it... I am going to Z.A. to try to deal with the issue.
lol... so THAT'S the reason israeli's have names like that...
ReplyDeleteooh... and a name - Sigal --> "seagull?"
ReplyDeleteOr Timor. Is that when T-Mobile gives you extra minutes on your cellphone plan?
ReplyDeleteName a girl "Noa"--she'll never want to have to explain why she has a "boy's" name. :-P
ReplyDeletehow about יפית-yafit? (ya feet stink!! go shower...)
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, there is actually a real person named Yafeet Shmell.
ReplyDeleteHow bad does that stink! (pun intended)
Very cute. I remember the first time I heard the name Yifat, and the guy with me thought the person said "you're fat". LOL
ReplyDeleteWhoo hoo, LOL that was funny!
ReplyDeleteWhat about the secular Israeli names that mean different stuff to us? Like poor little Nimrod, who has no clue about his namesake.
I think i will call my kid Jameel i bet even if he will want to go back to the US they would not let him in!
ReplyDeleteLove it! I remember coming home after my first day of Israeli school, telling my mom about the girl named Moron who was sitting next to me. Lucky for her, I picked up the Israeli accent fairly quickly.
ReplyDeletetoo funny, jameel.
ReplyDeletedudu was the one that always made me feel awkward.
OH GLORY BE!
ReplyDeleteThis was one of the best laughs ever!!
!!!!!
speaking of names
my sis's friend's name is
oliver shalom - lol
how bout that!
I do hope no one with those names reads this post.
ReplyDeleteDr. Dick, a pediatrician in Maccabim once told me about his year's sabbatical in the States. He couldn't understand why his kids were so miserable in school. They complained about being teased. I told him that before his next sabbatical he needs to change his name to Dr, Richards.
ReplyDeleteAnd from the other side, why are expat Israelis always so rude and nasty, and cheap? All the nice Israelis I've ever met (and I've met many, both those that live in EY and those that live in America) live in Israel. But Israelis that have left Israel--they're worse than New Yorkers. More than once I have felt obliged, after an Israeli customer leaves, to apologize to my co-workers on behalf of Knesset Yisrael....
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! It really made me smile and the ending was so funny... thank you so much! Your passion for Israel is so inspiring you live my ideal and in a way it shames abd awes me at the same time!
ReplyDeleteYou are very witty, I think your blog is truly great, definately one of my favorites!
I can't believe noody has yet said Avishag:
ReplyDeleteIt's just not fair to do that to your child.
nobody, even
ReplyDeletetafka: i know an avishag. who lives here. and goes to school/work that is completely aussie. i wonder how she explains her name!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! More info about cologne - http://cologne.thelineone.com/dolce-and-gabbana-cologne.html
ReplyDeleteOur first son, now aged 25, we named Nedavya (see I Chronicles 3:18). So, how did he end up being referred to? Ned
ReplyDeleteThere used to be (and may still be) a Jewish judge in NY named Judge Schmuck (sic). When my grandmother had a case before him, she just couldn't say his name. The judge got upset and said 'my name is "Schmuck" and I expect you to call me that'.
ReplyDeleteTrue story.(You can even look him up on the internet)
Oded has got to top the list. O, the dead one, the dead one! I've always hated that name.
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ReplyDeleteThe conversation with the cab driver is really funny.
ReplyDeleteI only was aware of DuDu and Osnot. Good to know about the others, if I 1)make aliyah again, and 2)have anymore children!
Shabbat Shalom
oh, and Gee, A Moron - I can top that....my former OB/Gyn's (a man) name is Dr. Dickman.
ReplyDeleteMy husband always giggled whenever I had an appt. with him.
What about Dikla?
ReplyDeleteanonymous: pretty funny.
ReplyDeletea really bad one for a girl is Ditza, especially if she's not too bright.... i used to have a friend in israel named pinchas and everyone called him pini, and he didn't understand why at first, many of us were hysterical when we had to refer to him.
ReplyDeleteMy dorctor for testicular pain in Rochester NY is named Harry Sax, no joke-look him up! (http://globalrph.healthology.com/globalrph/1905.htm).
ReplyDeleteDavid Frier (hebrew for sucker, Naive) refused to make aliyah from MD.
Great article! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteNice Blog!
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ReplyDeletewow very interesting I had no idea it was so
ReplyDelete