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Sunday, September 03, 2006

The UN Newsletter

French Peacekeepers Arrive -- Surrender to Lebanese Fishermen One Mile From Shore

Prior to reaching the coast of Lebanon, the advance 30-man contingent of the planned 200-man force of French peacekeepers has surrendered unconditionally to an unarmed, thirty-foot Lebanese fishing boat that had broken down and was drifting as the result of an overheated propeller shaft bearing while trawling for sea bass off the coast of Lebanon. Colonel Maurice Pusse’ explained that this surrender is necessary in order to verify conditions in Lebanese prisoner of war camps before the entire French force lands and surrenders en masse. “If the food and lodging are good, if they provide adequate dental care”, Pusse’ said, “then I can signal the main force to land; otherwise, they might just as well land somewhere else and surrender to anybody”.

One of the five surprised fisherman who was interviewed, Ali Bubba, said he was delighted with the cooperative attitude of the French infidels and is especially happy to receive rifles and machine guns that have never once been fired, plus a nice landing craft. “These are new-in-wrap weapons that will command a good price, to help lift me out of poverty so I can travel to America and open a doughnut shop or maybe an institute for diversity training”.

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan expressed concern that the upkeep for French soldiers in Lebanese POW camps would impose a severe financial strain and said that, “of course, the United States, with their deep pockets and all, should, to be fair, pay extra for everything including the additional wear and tear and anguish of my staff of twenty-five thousand, some of whom are not even related to me”.

Hat-tip: RH via A Loyal Muqata reader

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