Ham-Only flight to Israel Angers Passengers

If you thought that Jewish passengers only had it tough for praying on flights and their tefillin suspected as explosive devices, an "easyJet" flight LEAVING Israel only had ham and bacon in the inflight meal service.

LONDON - UK budget airline easyJet apologized Tuesday to Jewish customers after the only food choices served on a flight from Israel were ham melts and bacon baguettes.

Passengers who follow the faith's ban on eating pork were forced to go hungry for the four-and-a-half hour journey from Tel Aviv to London.

The airline introduced the route in November, proudly promising that in-flight menus would feature kosher food that met Jewish dietary laws.

So Victor Kaufman, 25, was stunned when cabin crew announced the meal choices on his flight last weekend.

"It was a little insensitive. I think they need a lesson or two on cultural awareness if they expand their routes into the Middle East. It is not just Jewish passengers who do not eat pork but Muslim ones, too. I couldn't eat anything," the trainee accountant said.

An easyJet spokeswoman said company policy bans even taking pork products aboard planes on the route.

She added, "It appears that a mistake was made on this flight and that incorrect food canisters were loaded. We would like to apologize to the passengers." (source)

I'm sure this will prompt a new round of EL-AL ad posters...similar to the "personal mechitza" and the "we know what tefillin is" campaigns.

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Rant of the Day (There's Someone on the Wing!!)

There was a time when I used to post all sorts of stories like the upcoming one. I wonder how many readers remember my infamous Manila posts, my rant about a certain restaurant in London, the origin of the Muqata Wafflemaker or Elvis the Drug Dealer...

Regardless, I don't rant everyday but its time to let off some steam.

Last time I flew to India for business, I brought all my food with me. Not that there's so much Kosher food to eat in India to begin with, but I brought everything: cereal, boxed milk, tuna-fish, pitot, a bunch of manachama (manot chamot) [just add hot water for an instant meal], and bottled water.

I sparingly ate every meal knowing that there was no margin of error, and I didn't want to get stranded without any Kosher food.

After a few days, it was time to fly home to Israel, via London and I was thrilled that I'd have a "normal" kosher meal on the plane, even if it was "airline food".

During check-in, I double checked to ensure that my kosher meal was in fact reserved, and I'd be receiving it on my flight. All was in order.

Luckily for me, this leg of the trip was in business class and I sat in the upper deck of the plane (you'll soon see why this factoid is important for the story)

About 30 minutes into the flight, the stewardess (air-hostess? what's the proper politically correct term?) came by and reassured me that my kosher meal would be ready shortly. My stomach growled in anticipation -- I guess there's something about flights that makes one hungrier than usual, and having spent the week rationing my food, I was famished.

Meal service began.

Meals were given out one at a time, as I hungrily looked on in anticipation...one more minute...and I'd have "normal" food for the first time in a week.

And then, the stewardess smiled and presented my meal to me.

A linen napkin covered tray with steaming hot food, smiled at me.

"Excuse me," I said, "I ordered a Kosher meal."

"This is a Kosher meal," stated the stewardess, as she smiled and pointed to a piece of paper written in Hebrew, Yiddish and English which was neatly lying on the tray.

Shaking my head in hungry disbelief I asked, "didn't you see that the entire tray was wrapped in plastic, with big red letters on it, "ONLY TO BE OPENED BY THE PASSENGER", and that the hot dish of the meal had the same warning on it?"

The stewardess smiled back, "This is India. They didn't want you to feel bad that your meal looked different than everyone else's, so food services opened up your meal, and we heated it up with everyone's food, so you wouldn't feel different than everyone else ."

It took a minute for all this to sink in.

"Do you know that I'm not able to eat this now?" I asked?

The stewardess sighed.

I asked her if she could look out the window of the airplane for a second, and if she could read what it said in big letters on the wing.


"DO NOT WALK OUTSIDE THIS AREA," she read from the wing.

"Exactly!", I said, "Maybe...just maybe someone in the India ground crew thought the wing would 'feel bad,' and walked all over the wing. After all, you can walk on other parts of the airplane, but not that specific part of the wing, and we wouldn't want the wing to feel differently, would we? Even though there's a clear warning on it, how do we know that no one walked all over it?"

The stewardess nodded her head seriously and said, "You're absolutely right. Would you like anything else to eat?"

She managed to find me some fruit and a coke.

Ten minutes later I was surprised when a member of the cockpit crew, perhaps the Captain or Co-pilot walked over to me.

He bent down to talk to me and in a very serious voice said, "We radioed back to Bangalore airport. Apparently, the person you saw walking on the plane's wing was a fuel technician, and he is specially trained where he is allowed to walk on the wing, and where not to walk."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"I didn't say I saw someone walking on the wing," I blurted out, "I was trying to make a point by the comparison of my meal to the wing, and how instructions should be listened to..."

The cockpit officer gave me a puzzled look, and said, "I thought you would be happy to know that the person you saw on the wing knew where he was allowed to walk."

"Thank you," I said, "I'm very relieved now," and he turned around going back into the cockpit.

No one seemed to "get it."

And why am I reminded of this now?

I'm going back to India soon, and needed to apply for a visa. The procedure required that I provide my current and expired Israeli passports, as well as my US passport to the Indian Embassy in Tel Aviv.

Now, my US passport was very recently issued and is therefore a "USA Electronic Passport". You can tell from the weird symbol underneath the "United State of America"that this is a genuine electronic passport.

The exciting features of an electronic passport include some of the following (but isn't limited to)...

* Securely stored biographical information and digital image that are identical to the information that is visually displayed in the passport;

* Contactless chip/RFID technology that allows the information stored in an Electronic Passport to be read by special chip readers at a close distance; and

* Digital signature technology that is used to verify the authenticity of the data stored on the chip. This technology is commonly used in credit cards and other secure documents using integrated circuits or chips.

Sounds great, right?

Located on the inside back cover (where the electronics are located) is a message in clear, bold, block letters:

THIS DOCUMENT CONTAINS SENSITIVE ELECTRONICS:
FOR BEST PERFORMANCE, DO NOT BEND, OR PERFORATE,
OR EXPOSE TO EXTREME TEMPERATURES

Imagine my surprise when I received my Israeli passport with the new visa to India in it and all my other passports...AND THEY WERE ALL STAPLED TOGETHER BY THEIR BACK COVERS.

The "do not perforate" rule doesn't apply to India...(after all, you wouldn't want your passport to "feel bad" that other passports can be perforated, and not new US electronic passports...so who cares what it says...who cares if it ruins the electronics?)

Will this affect the validity of my US passport, now that it has 7 pairs of staple marks in the back cover, probably ruining all the high tech invested in it?

Probably not yet, but I doubt the friendly people in TSA will care or even believe me when I say, "it's not my fault, the Indian embassy in Tel-Aviv did it," as they drag me off to one of those newfangled full body naked scanners.

PS: My travel agent informed me today that the airline I'm flying on from India to London leg of my trip, no longer offers Kosher meals when leaving India. I guess following directions proved to be impossible...

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Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Dear Rabbi: Please eat some treif

The NIF (New Israel Fund) is so far gone over the edge that they really have no clue, unless this is part of their "Pluralism" message they want to impart.

The NIF recently sent out a letter to Rabbis asking them to join in a day of touring of select NIF funded organizations and meet a self-declared former Zionist.

Obviously this mini tour isn't meant for Orthodox rabbis. It isn't meant for Traditional rabbis. I'm not sure it's meant for Conservative rabbis, which only really leaves Reform rabbis - whom I suppose they think are anti-Zionist enough for them.

How do I know this?

Because the NIF "rabbinical guests" on the mini-tour will be having lunch at a non-Shomer Shabbat, non kosher(!) restaurant. You would think that if they wanted religious rabbis involved the meal would be somewhere kosher.

I can see it now, "Rabbi, will you be having Mozzarella cheese on your lamb, courtesy of the NIF's new Pluralism program?"


UPDATE: The NIF removed all mention of which specific restaurant lunch will be at. Good thing we took a screen shot (for those NIF supporters who think we made this up). I bet it will be at the same place.

Hattip to Yisrael Medad who sent me the original email the NIF sent out (thinking I was a Rabbi I guess).

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Where NOT to eat in London: Reubens

Last night, I had perhaps one of the most disturbing customer-relations experiences in recent memory, of dining at a restaurant.

Having been whisked away to England (with less than 16 hours advance notice) for an urgent, work-related task -- a good friend and work colleague of mine and I decided to go to the center of London for dinner.

We went to Reubens restaurant to eat -- and I ordered a chopped liver sandwich for 4.95 pounds, a pickle and a coke zero. I gave the cashier guy a 20 pound note.

He was busy talking when he took my money and took a 10 pound bill out of the cash register, put it on the cash register, and then started giving me the small change.

He gave me the small change, and then put the 10 pound bill back in the register.

"Excuse me," I said, "I gave you a 20 pound note -- my change includes the 10 pound bill you just put back in the cash register."

He replied rather abruptly, "No, you gave me a 10, you got your change."

I was rather taken aback. I knew exactly how much British money I had brought with me from Israel, and it didn't include any 10 pound notes. Additionally, I knew what was in my wallet -- I was 100% sure I had given him a 20 pound note.

"I'm sorry, I believe you've made a mistake," I continued, I'm sure I gave you a 20 pound bill -- I don't have any 10 pound bills."

And that's when things got nasty.

"Are you calling me a liar," he raised his voice at my friend and I. "I got a 10 pound note from you, and that's it. "

My friend then commented as well, "He [pointing to me] gave you a 20 pound bill, I saw it as well."

The cashier then started yelling at me loudly -- that he was not a liar, and why am I calling him a thief, when its obviously my fault.

I replied that I'm not insinuating anything, and he simply made an honest mistake.

He continued his rantings at me to everyone behind the counter, how he was right, and I'm wrong.

With nothing left to do and no manager around to complain to, my friend and I ate dinner.

Needless to say, this entire experience provided a very bad taste as an "appetizer" and the cashier/waiter's behavior was rather disgusting to say the least.

You don't yell at customers, let alone over something as trivial as this. He didn't even bother opening the cash register to verify that maybe HE (and not I) had made a mistake.

I made a very clear decision then -- when I would return to my hotel, I would re-check the envelope that I received with cash in it, and see the exact remaining amount. If it would be 10 pounds more than I expected, I would call the restaurant and personally apologize.

If it was 10 pounds less than it should have been, meaning that I had given him a 20 pound bill as I was sure I had (and been short-changed), then I would write this post -- letting people beware eating at Reubens restaurant in Central London.

Hence this post.

The Muqata hereby gives the Reueben's restaurant in London a review of 4 stars out of 5 for its food, and zero stars for customer service.

The quality of the food and location don't make up for their abhorrent customer service.

Jerks.

Note: Above pictures taken last night with my cell-phone. Posts coming later on stuff going on around Israel.

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Making your office cubicle Kosher for Pesach

Someone with waaaay to much time on their hands...he probably blogs from work as well.

hat-tip: DTC





Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael

Thursday's Roundup; WarDrums, VideoGames @ Chopsies Pizza, Spooky Pictures...the usual weirdness

Yes, there are war drums beating at Israel's northern border. Before we discuss that, some acutely vivid memories popped into my head on my way to work.

While PsychoToddler is a known video game addict, I also used to waste my share of quarters on video games when I was a teenager.

Places that come to mind with those machines are the "Greasy Spoon" type places (who knows what it's really called) across the street from YU's Beit Midrash in Manhattan, which is next to Shaller's book store (if that still exists).

I don't know why I got to thinking about Washington Heights this morning, but the Greasy Spoon definitely occupied my thoughts. The good news for PT is that newly released research proves that Video Games are good for your eyesight (besides improving eye-hand coordination). When a terrorist shot up the Greasy Spoon on Amsterdam Avenue in the 1980s, one high schooler even was saved by ducking into the video game.

Though not many of the readers here know this, there used to even be a "game room" in the basement of YU's Furst Hall, with dozens of pinball machines and video games.

At some point in time, they migrated to the Morg dorm's basement.

But when I was younger and had no access to these locations, I would play at the "Chopsies" Pizza store, where "Pepe" the counter guy was a known icon. I must have burned dollars and dollars playing "The Wizards of Wor", PacMan, Ms. Pacman, Frogger, and Space Invaders. My hard earned babysitting money of $1.25/hour would disappear into the machines, as I fed my electronic addiction, hoping for a high.

Next door to "Chopsies" was "McDovids"...one of the first Kosher fast food places in NYC, along with Kosher King (in Brooklyn)...which was sued by Burger King has had to change it's name to Kosher Country.

Who would have thought back then that I would have access to all those games of yore on my laptop in 2007, and can play them to my heart's content without feeding in a single quarter.

Pac-Man

Space Invaders

Frogger

Wizards of Wor

Ms PacMan

OK, enough about video games and back to reality.

Last night, Israel's border (surprisingly...not) started to heat up with an exchange of gunfire and tankfire between the IDF and Lebanon's army.

The IDF and Lebanese forces exchanged fire on Israel's northern border near Avivim late Wednesday night. Israeli troops have been operating in the area between the Israeli fence and the Lebanese border for several hours, combing for additional Hizbullah explosive devices similar to the ones found earlier this week in the area. (YNETnews)

Arabs have decided that while they can defile the Temple Mount by destroying all the evidence they could find of the Beit HaMikdash underneath the "Solomon's Stables", yet when Israel tries to excavate near the Mugrabi Gate (so they can build a new bridge to the entrance of the Temple Mount), the Arabs (in typical fashion) lie to the world and threaten terrorist attacks on Synagogues.

Their claims include:

1. Israel is trying to build the Third Temple.
2. Israel is trying to damage mosques on the Temple Mount

Quality quote from Arab protester:

"We oppose the destruction of Al-Aqsa Mosque," one protester told Ynet. "It hurts Muslim pride, the world, and Israel." (same YNET article as above)

Oooooh - Muslim pride.

Go back to the rock you crawled out from, JERK.

(Put the rock down and don't throw it, either)

The last time I saw Moshe Saperstein was in August, 2005. I was driving into the slated-for-destruction community of Neve Dekalim in Gush Katif. The IDF had already cleared out all pockets of "resistance", had broken the spirit of the residents, and all that was left was for the lucky few who could get back to their homes, was to hastily pack up their possessions in a few hours before the bulldozers started their work.

One family from Ganei Tal was detained at the checkpoint, and was refused entry to the Gaza Strip because of the polite nature of the Israeli police. After hours of haggling, and they were finally allowed entry; they rushed to their home only to see it bulldozed to the ground in front of their eyes, with all their possessions in it.

Back to August 2005; I was driving into Neve Dekalim, showing my special Defense Ministry permit that allowed me entrance to Gush Katif, and my passenger asked me to stop. She lowered the window to say hi to Moshe. With tears in their eyes, they could not believe that the Disengagement was actually taking place. I said hi to Moshe, and "chazak v'ematz" not knowing what else to say... Moshe is missing part of his hand and fingers because of a terror attack from a few years earlier, and he and his wife wrote a book which we used to keep next to our front door, "What to do in case of a terror attack." The book was for people to know AFTER a terror attack, what to do...one of the most important tips was to bring spare change and a cellphone charger to the hospital.

The reason I mention all this is because Moshe Saperstein just won a US Federal court case against the Palestinian Authority and PLO for their role in a terror attack against him. Now he is trying to collect (or freeze the assets) that they own him -- $16 million dollars.

It's unfortunate that the US State Department doesn't cooperate on issues like this, and will bypass the United States legal system to funnel money to the PA at all costs...even at the expense of dual American-Israeli citizen victims of Palestinian terror, backed by the Palestinian Authority. Maybe you should ask your congressmen about that one.

Ending off this post on a slightly more cheerful note, or perhaps, just a slightly more bizarre one; The Israeli city of Rechovot has misplaced...an entire neighborhood.

Apparently, someone found this 55 year old picture (shown below), which heralds the opening of a new neighborhood in Rechovot, "The Cuba Neighborhood."


The problem is...no one has any idea where the neighborhood is. It's as if aliens abducted the entire neighborhood, since it doesn't exist on any map.

The Rechovot municipality is still trying to locate it. (Story in Hebrew on NRG, here)

That's it. No more today...join us next week where we follow up with some of the comments left over the past few days about Israel and aliya.

PS: As a Public Service Announcement, WestBankMama has moved blogs from WestBankBlog to WestBankMama. Update your links.

NB: I saw this weird story the other day with the following picture.

Not every door that closes opens a new one, the fear you experience in a dark alley is not always a byproduct of an over-active imagination, a light at the end of a tunnel does not necessarily mean you're saved, if you smell incense it does not mean you're in a spa: Welcome to the "Nightmare".

Nightmare, Eilat's horror labyrinth, is one of world's most terrifying tourist attractions (yes, scarier than a roller coaster ride), and we have been around. We can not elaborate on the route starting at the dark, incense-saturated room and the horror-film sound track till the moment you'll scream in fear. What we can say is that the experience includes walking in total darkness, voices and sounds you'll hear, and the feeling that Freddy Kruger awaits around the next corner.

The only chance to get out of the maze is to follow the faint red lights, never stop, not look back. Alternately you could yell "nightmare" and one of the maze operators will come to take you to safety. Don't assume that does not happen – over 5,000 people have chosen that option so far.

Apparently, Israelis like being scared (which is obvious by the way they drive).

When I came back from shopping the other night, and I opened the door to my house, I kept seeing the above "image" sitting in our lay-z-boy chair in our living room. (Thats what happens when I stay up too late watching episodes of "24")

The power of suggestion.

Shabbat Shalom!

Jameel & Co.







Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael