Your Israel Bonds - Hard at Work

Sometimes you read something, and you have to read it again, because you can’t believe how stupid some people really are.

Let’s take the Israeli Foreign Ministry for example.

Here’s a group that really, really, doesn’t understand the internet and social networks.

First, they decide officially tackle the anti-Semitism on facebook by convincing pro-Israel people to start pro-Israel groups and other activities.

Talk about being late to the game.

Hell, there’s one guy on facebook named Ashley Perry who is like an Army-of-One when it comes to that and he certainly didn’t need FM approval or urging to tackle this whale.

And there are plenty of others who beat the Foreign Ministry to the gate.

Meanwhile, while the Foreign Ministry is so busy patting itself on the back that they had themselves another brain-spasm.

Hold on to your chairs.

The Foreign Ministry decided to invite the most influential Israel-bashing bloggers around to a free, all-expenses paid trip to Israel.

That’s right!

Because if these people couldn’t find enough stuff to write about, make up, or just spew against Israel, they can now write that Israel tried to officially “bribe” them to see another side of things.

Let me ask you, do you think the idiots in the Foreign Ministry think that blogs are like newspapers and need to be balanced? Do they really think that these bloggers write their remarks out of ignorance? Do they think that flying over Sderot in a helicopter will actually change their perspective?

How stupid are they over there?

I remember once when Arafat and Peres were on TV, Peres starts his idiotic peace ramblings, and Arafat (as always) suddenly made outrageous claims against Israel. Peres stood there flabbergasted, unable to even muster a response (much less say that Arafat was lying).

Remember that, because the Foreign Ministry’s tour also includes meeting our “Peace Partners” (such as enemy negotiator Saeb Erekat) who surely want to correct how these blogger are portraying Israel in their blogs.

10 parts of stupidity were handed down. We know who got them all.

(I heard the Foreign Ministry plans to invite ISM members on free trips to the Rachel Corrie Pancake Memorial tour, to help "open their minds" too).


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Emerging Community: Efrat

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As part of the ongoing Aliyah series that is unfolding on the Muqata, we'll now discuss another "emerging community".

Not a community lost somewhere in the United States where there are barely enough Jews to make a kosher-style deli, but one just 10 minutes from Jerusalem.

The neighborhood of Zayit in Efrat is a young, vibrant community. It boasts around 500 families. More than 50% are English speakers. While an Orthodox community, it is also an open one, and one can find both secular and Chareidi Jews living there.

It is also one of the highly demanded neighborhoods around.


A new project by the Barkan corporation called ParkView (Nofei HaPark) has just opened up (and is quickly closing up, due to the high demand).



ParkView consists of 51 quality apartments of 4-6 rooms overlooking a park (to be built soon).

(I was told that those who bought in the similar complex next door had a 30% shekel increase (more in dollars) in the value of their apartments in the last year, though past performance is no indicator of future earnings).


Anyway, I know a few people who live in the Zayit and they say they love the neighborhood and the people.

To find out more, get prices, and buy a home in Israel, I recommend you check out ParkView and contact Barkan directly.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Lag Ba'Omer Bonfire = 33 Thousand Dollars

It's not even Pesach, and already kids around Israel are searching for scrap (and not so scrap) wood for the national bonfire night of Lag BaOmer.

YNET reports (in Hebrew) of 5 girls, aged 12, who were already on the hunt for bonfire scrap wood, when they came upon an old wooden closet on Petach Tikva's Salant Street.

Bingo!

Instead of just hauling it to their wood stash, they decided to open it up first and they found in it $33,000 in cash! (Don't forget the gematria of "Lag" Ba'Omer is 33, so if you're going to find a cash cow, it's the right number)

The fair-minded girls split the cash between them and went home. One of the girl's parents heard about the "find," collected all the cash, and brought it to the police.

The police questioned the girls of the location where they found the wooden closet, and located the closet's owner. Apparently, while cleaning for Passover, the closet's owner decided to get rid of the closet, not knowing her mother had left the cash there (she didn't even know of the cash's existence!)

Moral of the story:

1. Cleaning for Pesach is totally out of control. It's NOT Spring Cleaning, but cleaning for bread!

2. Don't throw out usable furniture; you never know when it might be usable. Best to put things like this in your attic (I'm so going to get killed for writing this)

3. If you do decide to throw out furniture, ask first on your local neighborhood email list if anyone wants it/can use it.

4. Before you throw anything out, always check for $33,000 in cash hidden away in it.

5. Petach Tikva kids start collecting wood for Lag BaOmer waaaay too early. They should be helping their parents clean for Pesach.

Note: The wooden closet pictured above is for representative purposes only -- it was not the actual wooden closet found containing $33,000. Other Limitations may apply.



Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Who Is Stalking Jameel?

The inherent dangers of the internet and blogosphere are known to all. While I tip my hat towards those bloggers who have stripped away their own anonymity and blog out in the open like Treppenwitz, Hirhurim, and Serandez; I still try keep my identity to myself (for the most part).

However, the 2 scariest issues for bloggers are as follows:

1. Someone revealing their anonymity
2. Stalkers

I carry a semi-automatic hand-gun with me at all times, and have my automatic M16 assault rifle (complete with close range, urban-warfare, rapid target acquisition sight) at my disposal, so I'm not overly worried about stalkers. However, this past Friday afternoon, a stalker got the better of me.

Driving around on Friday afternoon I noticed a note tucked into a bag in my car. "That's odd," I thought to myself, "what's the blue piece of paper doing here?"

Looking at it, my heart sank...

It was mysteriously signed in a circle, "loag." For those of you who aren't familiar with the "Loag", Wookipedia has the scoop:

The Loag, a group of assassins, oppressed the planet Merisee during the Old Republic. They were apparently wiped out by six Jedi after an effort of a full year. Three of the Jedi were killed in the violent denouncement of the cult. At the end of the campaign, the Jedi took the Loag dagger, which the assassins had sworn their blood oaths on, and it was placed in the care of the Galactic Museum on Coruscant.

So not only do I have a waffle stalker after me, but it's an entire group of waffle-starved assassins!

Fine. If that's the price to pay for having a blog, I can deal with it.

My kids are on the lookout for cloaked figures who may snoop around the neighborhood, my wife is well-trained with her own firearm, our home has security cameras outside, and our community security operations center (as well as the IDF) is in 24x7 contact with me.

The "Loag" think they may be tough, but they've come after the wrong blogger.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

A Mother's Tears

Apropos my previous posting/video of husbands who "disappear" on business trips (note, I left out the quotation marks from "business trips"), the following story by Molly Green just appeared on YNET (in Hebrew).

Here's my quick and imperfect translation...

The tears streamed down my cheeks.

Yes, even at my mature age, the stubborn tears filtered out of my eyes and joined my angry cries.

At first I was embarrassed. I reached for a tissue. No one cries over a plane that has left. Yet my tears returned. For years I waited for this chance, and in an instant it was cruelly snatched away from me.

At my workplace there are occasional bonuses; perks if you may. At some companies its cash, at my company, its a trip abroad every few years.

The trip could be to cover a seminar, convention, or an important event, and the lucky person gets sent on an all-expense-paid trip to "Chutz La'Aretz"...anywhere outside of Israel.

There's nothing like a small carrot, such as a trip abroad, to throw at employees to motivate them and give them a "high" for weeks on end.

This trip was mine; it was my field, my forte, and yet...while I have 8 years of seniority and tenure at my company, they sent someone who was only with us for 6 months!

The rage bottled up inside me, "How dare they not offer me this trip?" I ranted at my husband. "This is how they reward years of hard effort and dedication? Have I only imagined myself as being an integral part of the company?!"

I was inconsolable.

My husband gently suggested there must be a rational and logical reason why I wasn't sent.

Enough was enough; I couldn't take it any longer -- I called our chief editor.

"Is everything OK, Molly?" he asked.

"No, not really", I answered, trying to sound as calm as possible under the circumstances.

"I have been working here for 8 years. I am not going to detail all my dedication and hard work, but will come straight to the point. I'm very offended you didn't offer to send me to cover the game convention in Italy.

This is my field, it is near and dear to my heart and I cover it professionally for our publication. I have nothing against the reporter you sent in my place, but I am with a doubt the right person for the job -- so why didn't you send me?"

Silence.

"Err, Um, I'm, ah... shocked", my boss stammered.

He barely got the words out, "Your name came up at the staff review, and everyone agreed you were the right person to go, but everyone mentioned the problem."

"The 'Problem'?" I asked. "What 'problem'?"

"The problem that you have 9 children! How could we possibly ask a mother of NINE children to leave for a 3 day business trip! We all had mercy on you and didn't ask you to go..."

A good, nice feeling washed over me. I didn't hear the rest. They honestly thought they couldn't ask me to go.

"Just so that you should know," I stopped his ongoing apology, "of all people, davka (specifically) a mother of 9 is someone who SHOULD go on a trip like this"

"Why?" my editor stammered.

"Believe me," I answered, "a mother of 9 could use a 3 day vacation!"

Jameel adds: And what better time, than right before Pesach! (Passover)

:-)

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Peace House

So last night I got a last minute invitation to scoot on over to the Peace House in Hebron and permission from the wife to do so (sorry Elchonon, I didn’t see you there).

What an evening.

Everybody who is anybody in the settler world was there, and what super-nice people they all are.

There were speakers (such as Rav Dov Lior and Aryeh Eldad), a movie, tours of the Peace House, and impromptu meetings with the families living there. Rav Levinger was driven by for a few minutes and he greeted people.


Itzkik Halamish was also there, and I spent some time speaking with him.


If you’re not familiar with his story, you should be. It’s about a (becoming more and more common) miscarriage of justice and the lack of proper police procedures that we are seeing more and more of against Jews in Judea and Samaria.

I bumped into Baruch Marzel, and told him I was going to vote for him again, but this time he had better win.

Most interesting was the non-publicized background behind the 100% legal purchase of the Peace House, perhaps one day I will be able to discuss it.

But ultimately, the lesson here is once again, the Arabs are more than happy to sell their property to Jews (as long as they won’t get killed for it).

The government has another problem. They wanted certain influential Arab neighbors to complain and say they don’t want the Jews living there (in an attempt to invalidate the sale).

But the local Muchtar (who I discussed in a previous post about his meeting with the Hebron leaders) openly told the IDF and government representatives that he is quite happy to have the Jews owning and living there. (He is apparently fed up with the Leftists who keep visiting and causing problems).

Bully for him.

Anyway, that was my unexpected Saturday night in Hebron.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Haveil Havalim #161 - Pidgeon Break

Friends the Best of the Jewish Israeli Blogosphere is now live at Haveil Havalim #161 - Pidgeon Break.

Go check it out, you'll be glad you did. As always I respectfully request your assistance in promoting it by placing a link on your blog.
Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

The Week Ahead

What a week Jameel has planned for readers of the Muqata (with some cross-over posts on JoeSettler of course).

First of all, there will be at least 2 surprise guest bloggers blogging about Aliyah, and possibly another surprise announcement.

Next Jameel is going to discuss that preposterously slanted and skewed Jerusalem Post article on Rapid Response Teams.

Next Lurker is hoping to find time to do a Deconstruction on the Two Amotz Asa-El’s of the Jerusalem Post, the left-wing Amotz and the far-left wing Amotz.

From what I hear, Lurker will be discussing why Asa-El’s positions vacillate like the wind, while breaking down his argument style, which Lurker claims tends to rely more on techniques of delegitimization, trivialization, marginalization of opponents and opposing viewpoints rather than actually arguing the argument.

Next, if everything works out, I’ll have some news from Hebron.

And finally on JoeSettler I hope to discuss a Left-winger’s response to yet another of Avi Dichter’s personnel getting hurt near Gaza as a result of the disengagement.

Of course, the above list of posts are subject to change, current events, interest and time.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Ba'al-lagan!

This video was made in Chashmonaim -- a community where many of the husbands work part time in the US. The same situation is rampant in Beit Shemesh...so they should appreciate this video as well!

Me, on the other hand -- I travel far less than I used to, and for much shorter trips. And for once, I'm not going on a business trip the week before Pesach this year...just milluim! (really, I didn't schedule it!)

So enjoy this video...gan for husbands!



Discussion next week on aliya...while keeping your job behind.

hat-tip: Tzvi from Talmon, a great yishuv!

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד