Sunday, October 23, 2005

The Avian-MEME-7 flu virus

A mutant strain of the MEME-7 virus was thrown at me last week by Ze'ev @ Israel Perspectives)

7 Things I can do:

1. Build a house in Israel without going crazy (well, my wife and I did have a minor disagreement over the bathroom tiles, but other than that...)
2. Talk in public about almost anything.
3. Remember names and faces, and kill at Jewish geography.
4. Play the piano (mostly by ear)
5. Code in C, Win32 API
6. Drive an Ambulance; perform CPR.
7. Neutralize Arab terrorists; effectively manage a counter-terrorist unit in complex urban combat situations.

Things I can't do:

1. Study with more than 2 kids on shabbat afternoon for tests in gemara without falling asleep.
2. Drive a bus (yet)
3. Hear a baby cry while I'm sleeping
4. Wash dishes without my hands falling apart.
5. Eat peanuts without dying.
6. Shower more than 3 minutes before shabbat starts on Friday afternoon.
7. Carry on a conversation for more than 3 minutes without my phone ringing/beeper buzzing/meers announcing.

7 Things I constantly say:

1. Sorry about that.
2. Give me the bad news first.
3. I'm leaving work in only 5 more minutes.
4. I'll do that tomorrow.
5. Is this urgent?
6. Whassup?
7. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

7 Things I'd like to do in my lifetime:

0. Retire early, to have enough time to do everything I like doing -- including spending time with my family (I'm typing this with my 2 year old sitting on my lap)
1. I'd like to hope that my actions help bring the geula closer than pushing it away.
2. Senior EMT/Paramedic/Cardiology Training
3. Build and fly a radio controlled helicopter, souped up with night vision equipment and GPS remote tracking.
4. Finish my N-scale model railroad, and have it on display for kids.
5. Public speaking tours to the US on the importance of aliya
6. Be a part of rebuilding Gush Katif, bring a korban pesach, greet Mashiach.

People I'd like to infect with this time-wasting virus:

Joesettler
Artist Formerly known as Purple Parrot
The Meidad's
OlehGirl
Litvak without a Shtriemel

PS: I like to infect Treppenwitz but he's rightly against Avoda Zara viruses.

My wife is totally ready to kill me for having spent so much time on my blog today, but it is all out of my system...till Thursday...maybe.

Moadim L'Simcha!

14 comments:

Joe Settler said...

Sorry Jameel,

My anti-virus program is too strong for your meme.

-JoeSettler

Ze'ev said...

Jameel, a few questions:

1) What does neutralize an arab terrorist mean exactly?

2) How do you know that eating peanuts will kill you? Ever done it before?

3) How do you know if a baby is crying while you sleep if you cant hear it?

4) whats a "meers"?

5) As for your helicopter, what about missles?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

1. bang. splatter.

2. I've had them before...and my allergic reaction gets worse every time I eat them.

3. My wife says, "Wake UP! Can't you hear the baby crying?"

4. Meers = Cellular Walkie Talkie

5. Missles? What do you need missles for? I thought the helicopter was for delivering candy to poor under-privledged children.

Gee, a Moron! said...

Meers (actually MIRS) = Motorola Integrated Radio System. It is a digitally controlled radio signaling system - shared frequencies for all - but only turns on the audio of the receivers of those who are supposed to hear what you are saying - though others can listen in if they diddle with their set.

Developed by Motorola Israel under the name "MIRS" but the corporate types in the USA didn't like the name and changed it to "Iden" (Identified Radio). The original name stuck in Israel.

(A former Motorola Israel employee)

Litvshe said...

Talk about a geek. Starting to number at 0.
As far as the peanut thing goes...one time Jameel walked into my office and I had Reese's peanut butter cups on the desk. You should have seen him run.

Pity my anti-viral's weren't up to date.

Joe Settler said...

I once took Jameel to a Chinese restaurant.

Peanut oil.

Need I say more?

daat y said...

and what about the million bucks to fix the muqata?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Daat Y: There are MANY muqatot around Israel. Hebron, Ramalla, Jenin -- the word "Muqata" is arabic for "compound". Besides, the Ramalla one is getting fixed up daily.

Joe/Livitsh: Now you know why I carry an adreniline injector in my laptop bag. (to keep friends like you guys from killing me).

Gee, A Moron: I think I knew that the real acronym was MIRS...but it rhymes with SHMEERS. I thought of working for Motorola Israel once...but went to Intel Israel instead.

tafka PP said...

Jameel- I don't know if even you are able to appreciate the depth of my amusement at being MEME'd alongside such an auspicious selection!

I'll comply shortly when the post-chag workload lessens...

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Purple Parrot: Depths of Amusement? Is that before or after the 9th circle of hell?

Enjoy :-)

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