"Obama was elected by the United States, but as a matter of fact, he was chosen by the whole of humankind."
-- Sir Shimon Peres, Israeli Crazy Old Man, Knight of the Most Distinguished Order of St. Michael and St. George (who say "ni"), and President of Israel, declaring The Obama Dogma while in an ecstatic state of epiphany [source].
The high priests of the Church of Rabin may denounce this as mortal heresy, but I say that it's possible -- just possible -- that The Obama may be a higher deity than even Rabin...
While still in his ecstatic state, Sir Shimon decreed that Obama's agenda (soon to be revealed to the faithful) is Biblically mandated. Accordingly, Sir Shimon prophesied its triumph, and swore Israel's fealty to Obama and his agenda in the name of the entire Jewish people:
"They say Obama will be a good President to Israel, and I say Israel will be a good country for the President, because his goals are our goals, his hopes are our hopes, his source is our source. All of us are coming from the same depth of Biblical convictions, with a permanent respect for the Ten Commandments. I want on behalf of the people of Israel, actually of all of the Jewish people, to tell the President, 'God bless you.' Your success will be our success. Your hope will become a reality."
Read the rest here.
It was quite thoughtful of the Knesset to have elected Sir Shimon as the President of Israel. One imagines that if he didn't have the Presidency to occupy himself, he would probably be spending his time as one of the wizened old street prophets roaming the Ben Yehudah pedestrian mall...
For more on the Biblical significance of Obama, see here. (hattip: Jameel).
Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד