Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Oh. My. God.

by Lurker

"Obama was elected by the United States, but as a matter of fact, he was chosen by the whole of humankind."
-- Sir Shimon Peres, Israeli Crazy Old Man, Knight of the Most Distinguished Order of St. Michael and St. George (who say "ni"), and President of Israel, declaring The Obama Dogma while in an ecstatic state of epiphany [source].

The high priests of the Church of Rabin may denounce this as mortal heresy, but I say that it's possible -- just possible -- that The Obama may be a higher deity than even Rabin...

While still in his ecstatic state, Sir Shimon decreed that Obama's agenda (soon to be revealed to the faithful) is Biblically mandated. Accordingly, Sir Shimon prophesied its triumph, and swore Israel's fealty to Obama and his agenda in the name of the entire Jewish people:

"They say Obama will be a good President to Israel, and I say Israel will be a good country for the President, because his goals are our goals, his hopes are our hopes, his source is our source. All of us are coming from the same depth of Biblical convictions, with a permanent respect for the Ten Commandments. I want on behalf of the people of Israel, actually of all of the Jewish people, to tell the President, 'God bless you.' Your success will be our success. Your hope will become a reality."

Read the rest here.

It was quite thoughtful of the Knesset to have elected Sir Shimon as the President of Israel. One imagines that if he didn't have the Presidency to occupy himself, he would probably be spending his time as one of the wizened old street prophets roaming the Ben Yehudah pedestrian mall...

For more on the Biblical significance of Obama, see here. (hattip: Jameel).


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

9 comments:

rutimizrachi said...

Bibi has his faults; but he won a piece of my admiration when he dubbed Sir Shimon "Israel's first man in space."

Anonymous said...

Lurker! Are you the same Lurker who has been lurking around CIWI and suddenly surfaced????

Lurker said...

Anonymous @ 11:31 PM: Lurker! Are you the same Lurker who has been lurking around CIWI and suddenly surfaced????

I don't even know what CIWI is. I've been lurking around the Muqata for quite a while, though.

Anonymous said...

As Ruti wrote,
Knights are referred to by their first names, so it's not Sir Peres, but rather Sir Shimon.

Lurker said...

Anonymous @ 4:09 AM: Knights are referred to by their first names, so it's not Sir Peres, but rather Sir Shimon.

My bad. Thanks for pointing that out. I fixed it in the post.

realRightWinger said...

so I guess according to Mr Pres - sorry Peres - those who didn't vote for him are inhuman - oh well - there goes the planet

JoeSettler said...

A site to help you decide who to vote for based on the issues:

http://israel.kieskompas.nl/language/en

Anonymous said...

Posts like this make me second think everything on this blog... I don't mind the not believing in Obama (I have my doubts) but the underlying attitude ensures we will never have a better world..

Lurker said...

To Anonymous @ 5:42 PM:

Sorry for the "bad attitude".

I take it, then, that you agree with Peres' announcement that Obama was "chosen by the whole of humankind".

Personally, I happen to harbor my own hopes for a better world, but they certainly don't depend upon believing in idiotic (and obviously false) nonsense like that statement by Peres.

Believing that we're on our way to a better world because "the whole of humankind" chose Obama is about as logical as believing that we're on our way to a better world because all pigs have sprouted wings: In both cases, (a) the proposition is patently false, and (b) even if it were not false, the proposition does not imply that the world is getting better.

But if believing stuff like that does it for you -- hey, don't let me rain on your parade...

P.S.: This post was not about "believing in Obama". It was about the delirious gobbledygook spouted by Shimon Peres. My "attitude" is one that regards such gobbledygook as being gobbledygook.

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