Instead, I'll leave that as an exercise for you.
1. Copyrighter behind title for one of most successful romantic comedies of all times is none other than Israel's prime minister, who in 1989 persuaded movie's director, producer that 'Pretty Woman' wasn't such a bad name for their film after all.
Maybe he should work on films full time, and let someone else run the country?
2. Catholic Pope Benedictus XVI recounts Biblical betrayal of Jesus by Judas, calling apostle a double-crosser for whom 'money was more important than communion with Jesus, more important than God and his love'.
Since the Pope has no problem with "airing" these "historical" views, can we uncensor some of Talmudic topics that deal less than favorably with Jesus? Oh, sorry, we can't worry about offending anyone now, can we?
3. UK wants 'normal relations' with Hamas -- British foreign secretary says country wishes to hold ties with Hamas-led government as it had with previous Palestinian governments, adds UK must seek ways to financially aid PA.
Normal relations? I'll bite my tongue on this one. Let's just say I hope the UK enjoys their normal relations with Hamas as much as we have till now.
4. School of about 15 sharks spotted off Haifa shores. Experts say sharks pose no danger to humans.
I wonder if the UK wants normal relations with the Sharks as well? They are such misunderstood creatures of passion, life, and they have such adorable children.
5. Three non-waterproofed bags containing nearly hundreds of kilograms of marijuana wash up on two different beaches near Zichron Yaakov; police probe whether drugs were smuggled into Israel or mark attempt by Israeli to dispose of illegal substance.
Do you think they wanted to placate the sharks up north or the Hamas down south?
6. Israeli residents sick of IDF reprisal shelling at Gaza terrorists
More than 20 Qassam rockets were fired at Israel during the Pesach holiday...The IDF fired some 1,480 shells at the northern Gaza Strip last week, out of a total of 4,000 shells fired since the massive action against Qassam cells was launched three weeks ago. The blasts were well heard at the Gaza vicinity communities, and the resident once again woke up to a morning of anxiety.
"Unfortunately, it is no longer possible to know whether the noise is an IDF shelling, which has become a nightmare for us and is no longer helpful, or Qassams, which we have already accepted," one of the residents told Ynet.