So what would Yom Kippur be without me thinking about my blog (at least for a minute or two) at some point during this holy and solemn day?
My son asked me during a break in the Torah Reading, if someone had a Bar Mitzva on Yom Kippur, and they read the portion on Yom Kippur, then what, if anything, would people throw at the Bar Mitzva boy?
The answers we came up with were:
1. Rocks. It's a very annoying and offensive custom on Yom Kippur for people to throw rocks at vehicles on Yom Kippur; specifically AMBULANCES! And these aren't fanatical Orthodox throwing rocks -- rather its usually secular misfit kids. (On Yom Kippur, TODAY, 4 MDA ambulances were damaged by rock throwing...)
2. Non-kosher candy (since you can't eat it anyway)
3. Etrogim. (We decided we were a week early with this one)
4. Shofarot. (Not enough in shul though)
5. Kalei Tzom (Easy-Fast pills). We decided this would be the most popular.
So...while the USA Muqata readers are still fasting today (we've been eating here for a few hours already this evening), here's what you must be thinking now:
Gmar Tov - A good year to us all.
Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael
My son asked me during a break in the Torah Reading, if someone had a Bar Mitzva on Yom Kippur, and they read the portion on Yom Kippur, then what, if anything, would people throw at the Bar Mitzva boy?
The answers we came up with were:
1. Rocks. It's a very annoying and offensive custom on Yom Kippur for people to throw rocks at vehicles on Yom Kippur; specifically AMBULANCES! And these aren't fanatical Orthodox throwing rocks -- rather its usually secular misfit kids. (On Yom Kippur, TODAY, 4 MDA ambulances were damaged by rock throwing...)
2. Non-kosher candy (since you can't eat it anyway)
3. Etrogim. (We decided we were a week early with this one)
4. Shofarot. (Not enough in shul though)
5. Kalei Tzom (Easy-Fast pills). We decided this would be the most popular.
So...while the USA Muqata readers are still fasting today (we've been eating here for a few hours already this evening), here's what you must be thinking now:
Gmar Tov - A good year to us all.
Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael
13 comments:
Throwing at ambulances!
What will these shababniks think of next?!
Thank you for these very funny bits of levity. Just the right antidote to make me stop thinking of my headache.
Gmar tov.
for people who haven't yet done tashlich and are following some strange leniency, maybe they could throw bread?
or perhaps those who are late with kaparos, they could throw chickens?
not kosher candy cuz not eatin it anyhow! hehe!
o and next year, i say they stick in an 'al chet' for thinkin bout blogs durin tefillah/other inappropriate blogthinkable moments
shanah tovah to us all!
bec:
"for people who haven't yet done tashlich and are following some strange leniency"
hey, be careful. i used to be one of those procrastinators that relied on the "strange leniency." (not that i'm not still a procrastinator, but with tashlich in specific, my wife makes me do right away.)
"perhaps those who are late with kaparos, they could throw chickens?"
the bar mitzvah boy would probably rather have guests who do kaparot with money.
Cool youtube clips!
Bon apetit
Shtender: They think it's "cool" on Yom Kippur to throw rocks at ambulances and yell "Yom Kippur!!!" Very sad.
Chana: many secualr Jews came to shul for Yom Kippur. I hope to post about it later...
QueeniesMom: Thanks -- my pleasure!
Bec: or chocolate coins instead of chickens? (Real coins would be muktza I guess)
Ari: Heh...Now I realize you wrote that money comment before me (kudos!)
Pragmat: Your Bon-apetite comment inspired my next posting...
The Sabra: That's a good idea for next year...a Blog related set of "Al Chaits"...will need to rememeber that for next year...
Are there really "Easy-Fast pills"?
"3. Etrogim. (We decided we were a week early with this one)"
throwing them now would be like throwing gold. wait till after sukkot when etrogim depreciate back to their regular (worthless) value. but if you still feel the need to use etrogim, make sure to get them from tirat tzvi. they grow them there the size of footballs, literally. (i worked there and had to shlep crates of these behemoths.)
"5. Kalei Tzom"
i am told they don't work. a friend asked me to look into these, but i could not find any reference to them in the pharmaceutical literature. what is the active inrgedient or generic name?
What about throwing supposatories??? People here sware by them on a fast day. (But then again, they are anal retentive anyway)
What about unrinal mints?
Non-eatable and refreshing scent!
Just what we need to clear our heads on a fast day.
As a side benefit they would kill the B.O. smell in the back of the Men's section.
those in the usa: please buy israeli etrogim.
see:
http://agmk.blogspot.com/2006/10/etrogim-buy-bnei-akiva.html
http://agmk.blogspot.com/2006/10/etrogim-valueless-commodity.html
http://agmk.blogspot.com/2006/10/bastard-etrogim.html
http://agmk.blogspot.com/2006/10/rav-lau-on-hiddur-mitzvah.html
http://agmk.blogspot.com/2006/10/recommended-reading-on-yanover-etrog.html
chatima tova
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