Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Hebrew Names For Kids to Prevent Yerida

One of the fears of every Oleh/Olah to Israel is that G-d forbid their child may not have the same passion for Israel as their parents and consider moving to the land their parents emmigrated from.

As a service to Olim, enclosed is a handy list of names you can use to name your children. These names will seriously hamper their ability to move (or even visit) English-speaking countries... feel free to add your own :)

Snir שניר (Hey, get that sneer of your face!)
Tahell תהל (Go Tahel, Go on...you can do it...Go Tahel)
Nofit נופית (Has anyone seen No-Feet's sandals?)
Dudu דודו (Dudu, do yu have to go to bathroom?)
Urea אוריה (ditto)
Moran מורן (Moron, that was great! You must be one of the smartest in your class)
Osnot אוסנת (Can someone please get a tissue for her?)
Sagi שגיא (Your cornflakes have been left drowning in milk for WAY too long...)

When I made aliya, a cab driver started ranking on my "What the heck did you make aliya for? There are SO many problems here...its so hard to make a living...there's so many things wrong...Why did you do this???"

I replied, "Don't Worry! I haven't lost my mind -- I'm only staying here for enough time to save up enough money so that I can live comfortably in the United States, and then I'll be on a plane there..."

He almost drove into a lamp post.

Maybe when my grandchildren finish college?



Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael

51 comments:

Safranit said...

Thank you for making me smile, while my husband is plotting our yerida.... (Don't worry, we are also buying an apartment here...I think that will win)

Pragmatician said...

Good idea, though from what I've heard Anglophone kids tend to socialize with other Anglophone kids.

Great retort to the driver!

Rafi G said...

nice response!

Anonymous said...

What abour Yifat (Yer fat)? Or Noga (snogger)? Or anything with a chet or a raish?

Yellow Boy

Oleh Yahshan said...

jameel,
Great answer to the Cab driver. My usual answer is a lot more practical. It's usually either - you don't know what you are talking about...
but lately I used, "There are so many problems everywhere in the world, but at least the problems here are mine."
I know I know.. the loony zionist in me.. I am working on it... I am going to Z.A. to try to deal with the issue.

~ Sarah ~ said...

lol... so THAT'S the reason israeli's have names like that...

~ Sarah ~ said...

ooh... and a name - Sigal --> "seagull?"

Moze said...

Or Timor. Is that when T-Mobile gives you extra minutes on your cellphone plan?

Mike Miller said...

I suppose names like Nimrod can be used by secular parents who want to make sure their kids never learn Tanach.

Scraps said...

Name a girl "Noa"--she'll never want to have to explain why she has a "boy's" name. :-P

Anonymous said...

how about יפית-yafit? (ya feet stink!! go shower...)

JH said...

Believe it or not, there is actually a real person named Yafeet Shmell.

How bad does that stink! (pun intended)

A Frum Idealist said...

Very cute. I remember the first time I heard the name Yifat, and the guy with me thought the person said "you're fat". LOL

kasamba said...

Whoo hoo, LOL that was funny!

What about the secular Israeli names that mean different stuff to us? Like poor little Nimrod, who has no clue about his namesake.

Scraps said...

I once had a (secular American) Jewish teacher whose Hebrew name was Esav. I kid you not.

KACH 613 said...

I think i will call my kid Jameel i bet even if he will want to go back to the US they would not let him in!

Aliza said...

Love it! I remember coming home after my first day of Israeli school, telling my mom about the girl named Moron who was sitting next to me. Lucky for her, I picked up the Israeli accent fairly quickly.

the sabra said...

too funny, jameel.

dudu was the one that always made me feel awkward.

Rebecca said...

What a great post! I love it!

the only way i know said...

OH GLORY BE!

This was one of the best laughs ever!!

!!!!!

speaking of names
my sis's friend's name is
oliver shalom - lol
how bout that!

Bari said...

What about "Itamar Schmalo"?

Or, if you don't happen to have that last name, give two names: "Itamar Tzufiel" [Did you say EAT A MARUSPIAL? EEEEWW!]

hubby said...

And then there was the Russian family in the US who wanted to name their kid Assol

daat y said...

I do hope no one with those names reads this post.

Gee a Moron! said...

Dr. Dick, a pediatrician in Maccabim once told me about his year's sabbatical in the States. He couldn't understand why his kids were so miserable in school. They complained about being teased. I told him that before his next sabbatical he needs to change his name to Dr, Richards.

jeffrey smith said...

And from the other side, why are expat Israelis always so rude and nasty, and cheap? All the nice Israelis I've ever met (and I've met many, both those that live in EY and those that live in America) live in Israel. But Israelis that have left Israel--they're worse than New Yorkers. More than once I have felt obliged, after an Israeli customer leaves, to apologize to my co-workers on behalf of Knesset Yisrael....

Ari Kinsberg said...

My favorites:
1) שרון (for a boy)
2) מורן
3) for people who like to name their kids after cities--כפר פינס

Ari Kinsberg said...

Sorry, for the benefit of non-Hebrew readers:
1)Sharon for a boy (it is pronounced on the ultima in Hebrew)
2) Moron
3) Kfar Pines (pronounces penus)

Not that some Yiddish names are any better (e.g., Feigele, Pinky, etc.). Or non-Israeli Hebrew names for that matter (I get stares when I say my middle name is Gad, which is misheard as God).

FrumGirl said...

What a great post! It really made me smile and the ending was so funny... thank you so much! Your passion for Israel is so inspiring you live my ideal and in a way it shames abd awes me at the same time!

You are very witty, I think your blog is truly great, definately one of my favorites!

tafka PP said...

I can't believe noody has yet said Avishag:

It's just not fair to do that to your child.

tafka PP said...

nobody, even

~ Sarah ~ said...

tafka: i know an avishag. who lives here. and goes to school/work that is completely aussie. i wonder how she explains her name!

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YMedad said...

Our first son, now aged 25, we named Nedavya (see I Chronicles 3:18). So, how did he end up being referred to? Ned

Just a Jewish Friend said...

There used to be (and may still be) a Jewish judge in NY named Judge Schmuck (sic). When my grandmother had a case before him, she just couldn't say his name. The judge got upset and said 'my name is "Schmuck" and I expect you to call me that'.

True story.(You can even look him up on the internet)

Irina Tsukerman said...

Oded has got to top the list. O, the dead one, the dead one! I've always hated that name.

פייגא דבורה said...
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פייגא דבורה said...
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Sweettooth120 said...

The conversation with the cab driver is really funny.

I only was aware of DuDu and Osnot. Good to know about the others, if I 1)make aliyah again, and 2)have anymore children!

Shabbat Shalom

Anonymous said...

oh, and Gee, A Moron - I can top that....my former OB/Gyn's (a man) name is Dr. Dickman.

My husband always giggled whenever I had an appt. with him.

Anonymous said...

What about Dikla?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

anonymous: pretty funny.

bec said...

a really bad one for a girl is Ditza, especially if she's not too bright.... i used to have a friend in israel named pinchas and everyone called him pini, and he didn't understand why at first, many of us were hysterical when we had to refer to him.

Anonymous said...

My dorctor for testicular pain in Rochester NY is named Harry Sax, no joke-look him up! (http://globalrph.healthology.com/globalrph/1905.htm).


David Frier (hebrew for sucker, Naive) refused to make aliyah from MD.

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