Monday, May 29, 2006

The Fantastic Voyage!


GodolHador (tm) Hashkafic Cruiselines is now offering the most Fantastic Voyage of a Lifetime. ('cause the kannoim are trying to sink this ship at all costs).

Finally, you too can see why chapter's 1-12 of Breishit are a myth/moshol.

See what the GodolHador has to say:
I have set out on a voyage across the sea, yet (perhaps somewhat surprisingly) still find myself pretty much right back where I started. A little older, a little wiser, but still glad to be home. This doesn't mean I won't set out on any further voyages, there is still much to explore. But family and friends, waving me off at the dockside, can be comforted to know that the yacht will return, sometimes laden with interesting and thought provoking artifacts and philosophies gathered from distant lands, sometimes a little scarred or damaged from encounters with hostile foreigners, but always back home.

Join us as we visit all sorts of exotic locations including:

The Garden of Eden Featured in detail in Chapter 2 of Breishit, we travel to Saudi Arabia to see this amazing biblical location. Using LANDSAT images from space, we see why this has to be the original Garden of Eden. Accept no imitations.


Har Ararat We journey to Turkey to see the mountain where Noah's Ark landed after the global flood. Again, aided by clever satellite imaging it's proven beyond a doubt. We can also scoff at those spending mega-bucks to see pseudo-science claim it this is where the Ark landed. Wanna buy a bridge?


Tower of Babble Now that the US has liberated Iraq from Saddam Hussein, we embed ourselves with the Marines 101 airborne unit to visit the famous Tower of Babble in Iraq! Relive chapter 11 of Breishit, as we toss bricks, hammers and cement at each other, with everyone speaking a different language.
In addition to visiting all sorts of exciting locations of historical importance, there will be daily shiurim from the best and brightest of the JBlogosphere.

Challenge your intellect! Refine your emunah!

Atheist? Sorry, you don't exist.

Agnostic? Some of the proceeds will go towards feeding the poor and other moral/social causes, so you can feel good about this cruise regardless if you definitely believe in G-d's existance. Or Not.

Skeptical? Even the people on Yonah's boat were eventually convinced.

Orthoprax? Religiously observe the laws of gravity while shooting at clay-pigeon-chumras.

Fanatical? Daily shuffleboard should chill you out.

Security? Despite some run-ins on previous cruises, where we ended up a little scarred or damaged from encounters with hostile foreigners -- we always managed to make it back home in one piece. (And we never got stuck on Giligan's Island either)**

Souvenirs? On previous tours we have returned laden with interesting and thought provoking artifacts and philosophies gathered from distant lands.**

Seasick? We've been known to go round and around in circles before...please consult your doctor (provided he didn't learn at the Zoboomafoo School of Holistic Medicine)

Bonus: Returns to the exact same point of departure.**

Uh-oh. I just realized this entire cruise vacation was meant as a myth/moshol for reading J-blogs every day and not to be taken literally.

sigh

**Past Performance Does Not Guarantee Similar Results.



Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael

9 comments:

jeffrey smith said...

Actually, of all Bereshit it's really only the Flood which is hard to reconcile with contemporary scientific knowledge. The Creation narrative gives some very big hints that it's not to taken literally (for instance, how can there be six days if 2:4 speaks of "the day in which heaven and earth were made"?--the day, in singular form).

The Flood, on the other hand, I've yet to see any suggestion of how to reconcile it with current science. For myself, I've decided to wait for Elijah to come and give that answer.

jeffrey smith said...

BTW, did you know why one of the Costa ships was named CostaFortuna?

Because it did.

(originally someone else's joke)

Mike Miller said...

Relive chapter 11 of Breishit, as we toss bricks, hammers and cement at each other, with everyone speaking a different language.

I don't know about the hammer and cement... but the bricks we can handle without travelling... :'(

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Jeffrey: There's no scientific basis for the dispertion of language based on a singular event 5000 years ago, either.

David said...

Very cute post!

But your picture for the ark on Har Arrarat does not download.

The Israeli hareidi magazine Mishpacha had an article about one of their correspondents who went to Turkey and followed an Arab guide to the "ark." I can't remember if he was skeptical or not, he seemed mostly concerned about the weather and not getting murdered.

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

David - I'll try to have the picture fixed soon.

FrumGirl said...

You are posting so frequently I have to catch up on them... but judgin from my fast overlook this post seems like a great read... cant wait to catch up!

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