Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Those Crazy Settlers and their email lists

Someone forwarded me the following email exchange from their yishuv's email list. Names changed to protect the guilty.

The anonymous yishuv is having a huge public email dispute over changing the nusach of the different tefillot for protection and guidance for the Medina, The IDF, etc...

-----Original Message-----
From: Settler #1
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 7:08 PM
Subject: [anonymous_yishuv] Nusach Tfila


Let me get this right:

1) Everyone agrees that they are not Halachic authorities, but everyone is giving their Halachic opinions,

2) Everyone agrees that we are not in a position to change the “nusach”, but everyone is cutting & pasting.


Now here’s what we’re going to do: I thought about this on Shabbat at the YI of Kew Gardens Hills where they make a me’shebayrach for the Midna, the US government, the IDF and the US Army.

The system of reciting a global me’shebayrach for the sick, during which the rabbi/gabbi pauses while those present silently mention the name of someone they know has been working very well.

What we do is make a general me’shebayrach for the “Government”. The rabbi/gabbi says “Medinat….”, pauses, and everyone can insert any country they want. You want “Israel”, fine.

You got a bill from Mas Hachnasa yesterday and want to get even -- this coming Shabbat don’t insert “Israel” and use “Barbados” which has lower tax rates.

Same thing with Tzahal. “Chayalei …..”, pause, and then insert anything your want. You can say “everyone except those involved with the expulsion”, or “everyone except my mefaked”.

--Settler #1

-----Original Message-----
From: settler #2
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 10:29 PM
Subject: RE: [anonymous_yishuv] Nusach Tfila


Settler #1 -

We could probably use the same method for the weekly dvar torah in shul.

The rav says:

"There are so many wonderful Divrei Torah on this week's parasha, and so many important messages, I'll be quiet now and everyone should think of their own dvar torah...It says in this week's parasha...

[10 second pause...]

Shabbat Shalom."

--Settler #2





Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael

12 comments:

Scraps said...

Oy Hashem. Who needs enemies? We can just fight each other...

I'm Haaretz, Ph.D. said...

I keep hearing about "the death of religious Zionism" since the disengagement. I don't believe it, but what you show here is certainly a crisis of religious zionism.

Ezzie said...

Am I the only one who finds this utterly hilarious?!

Bari said...

ezzie,

No.

Wouldn't it be great if you could just post like that - give a title, have the reader fill in the blank - and presto! "great post, Jameel!", "Spot on!".

"Jerk."

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

I'm Haaretz & Scraps: There is definitely some sort of crisis going on in some sectors of religious Zionism.

The terrible government apathy towards the "disengaged" settlers who for the most part are still in extremely temporary housing and communities is distressing and adds fuel to entire situation.

However, in this case, after that entire discussion on that email list -- Ezzie is right, this was a much needed break for some humor.

Bari: You can chill a bit...everyone else needed to :)

rockofgalilee said...

I've seen some people specifically sit down for the prayer for the state since the disengagement.
Next thing you know they're going to be buying black hats.

Bari said...

I'm chilled as jello, man. Like I said, ezzie isn't the only one who thinks it's hilarious.

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

«thinks it's funny too»

Olah Chadasha said...

I compare this to some people making bold statements claiming that Sharon's stroke, anything that goes wrong in the Army, and the investigation into the Police hierarchy's competence, and even the bird flu in the Moshav that house people taking part in the Disengagement is G-d's punishment against them for taking part in the Disengagement. It's ridiculous and potentially very dangerous.
-OC

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

OC: I don't think that's a fair comparison.

There are many people in this country that feel they have been betrayed by the Zionist cause; after building their lives, homes and 3 generations in Gaza under the direction of the government, and then to be kicked out -- with terrible compensation (and invective hurled against them) -- they are questioning if its proper for them to say the tefila for the government.

How do you see that as a comparison to blaming anything on the list you mentioned?

rockofgalilee said...

She's just upset because I banned her again for making insulting comments in my comments section

Ayelet said...

Definitely hilarious. These kids are really clever!

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