Monday, May 04, 2009

Reason #217 for hating Albuquerque.

This is so patently offensive and stupid, I feel bad for the people who have to see this billboard on a daily basis.

I spent plenty of time in Albuquerque (it was thankfully far less memorable than Manila), and the following is one of the funnier moments I had there.

Big Albuquerque Southwesterner (with a cowboy hat) comes over to me in a book store in Albuquerque.
him: Hey boy, I betchya that you're from Israel, arentchya?

me: Why sir, you're absolutely correct! How could you ascertain that I'm from Israel?

him: I can tell you're from Israel cause of that thing on yer head. (as he points to my kippa)

me: Well, I'm glad you were able to identify my nationality, we're proud of it.

him: Ya know, you Israelees must have one heck of an education system.

me: Our school's aren't that bad, how did you arrive at such a conclusion?

him: Because you speak better English than I do!
Not to be outdone, I called up a Kosher restaurant on the East Coast to send me some sandwiches packed in dry ice as there was hardly anything kosher to eat in Albuquerque.
I asked the guy at the deli over the phone if they ship sandwiches and he proudly answered, "We ship everywhere in the United States".

"Great", I answered, "Can you please ship the order to my hotel in Albuquerque, New Mexico?"

He paused, and replied, "Didn't you just hear me? We only ship in the United States. We don't ship to Mexico."

I stammered back, "But New Mexico is IN the United States, its one of the 50 States".

He replied back full of self confidence, "I don't care if its Old Mexico or New Mexico, we don't ship to Mexico since we don't ship outside the good old USA."

I asked if I could speak to the manager.

He replied, "I AM the manager!"
It took me about 15 minutes to convince him....

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד


A Pusheter Yid said...

Very funny, but aren’tcha making this up? I do know some deli managers who don’t have to take their shoes off to finger-count all states they can remember, but New Mexico = Mexico? C’mon? New York is in England? And his deli is in New Delhi?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

APY: Its 100% true. I'd tell you the name of the deli, but don't want to get on their bad side. (Maybe they'll advertise with me one day ;-)

Mordechai Y. Scher said...

Wow. Haven't seen that billboard. Disgusting. Since Jews in NM are generally VERY leftist and liberal (that woman who went to Iran some time back was a rabbi in ABQ) I'd bet no one has even protested. What the HECK were you doing in ABQ?

For your readers: I've no doubt the story about the deli is true. A local magazine runs a regular feature of such stories. They happen constantly. One example is of the fellows who rented a care in Louisiana to drive back to New Mexico. The agent was going to refuse them them the car because they don't allow the cars to leave the US. The license plates say 'New Mexico, USA' to make it clear a car is registered in NM, well...USA. No other state needs to do that.

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Mordechai: Same thing I was doing in

(Though I have fond memories of Shabbat meals at the local Chabad family)

Mordechai Y. Scher said...

Working out at Rio Rancho?

Sorry we missed you. Though we are a bit up the road...

Jewish Odysseus said...

Jameel, to be quite fair to Albuquerque...:

1) Anecdote #1 amounted to a candid complement to Israel's education system.

2) The clueless deli was on the East Coast!

Let's not write off a whole great state just 'cause of one stupid billboard! It wd be as unfair as writing off a great blog just because one stupid post about Playboy and Penthouse made it thru there...!!

Anonymous said...


I also spend a lot of time in Albuquerque. Maybe I'll see you there in a few weeks. :) Anyway, the population of the state is very strangely mixed; Native Americans, touchy-feely New Agey types, and gun-totin' Christians. Clearly it was some of the middle group that paid for that ad. I doubt that there are enough Jews there to have had a serious role in it, but I can guarantee that a VERY solid majority of New Mexicans would oppose it just as much as you and I.

-- Bob

JoeSettler said...

New Deli is on Emek Refaim Street (and also on R. Shamai).

Lurker said...

Clearly, the guy from the deli was simply operating according to the Absolut World map.

The Rebbetzin's Husband said...

When I lived in Rhode Island I ordered something from a Judaica store in NY, and they asked me what borough Rhode Island was in...

Mordechai Y. Scher said...

Bob, actually it looks like Jews are very much involved in that billboard. I mentioned it last night at work to one of the docs, and he knew right away who the sponsoring group is and who leads. Jews in NM tend to be very New Agey, very leftist, and very 'pro palistinian'. This doc characterized the guys behind the billboard as the most vicious and blatant anti-semites he has seen in his 60+ years.

Neshama said...

Jameel, I wrote to the mayor of N.M. and told him how offensive this road sign was, and included the report about the high moral standards of the IDF!

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Disclaimer: I really have nothing against Albuquerque, and had fun working there.

The lack of Kosher food was annoying, but not really a reason to hate the place.

I did find it funny that when I asked at my work place if anyone knew where I could get iron sights for my glock pistol, about 10 people jumped up from their cubicles and shouted out different places :-)

Anonymous said...

I'm in Nevada. Yep! Some think New Mexico is Mexico. It's not just an East Coast thing.

Jack said...

Reminds me of some trips through Ohio.

Anonymous said...


Nu, so let's identify the group and the Jews involved and start sending them letters!

-- Bob

Mordechai Y. Scher said...

Bob, is right there on the billboard. My colleague was telling me that the folks behind it are primarily a husband and wife who invest a lot of time and effort in letters to the editor, etc. On the website the sponsors appear as Another Jewish Voice, Veterans for Peace, and someone else.

Anonymous said...


I did see the URL. Wasn't in the mood to actually look at it. But if you happen to be able to find out the names of the couple involved, I'd like to know.

-- Bob

Neshama said...

This was on the Press Release of these scum:

Contact: Lori Rudolph, 505-550-9553,
Rich Forer, 265-1898,

You really do have to read their well-designed, and orchestrated mission. I wonder who's really supporting them?

A Pusheter Yid said...

Wew! Let's flood them with hate mail!

Mordechai Y. Scher said...

Okay, I've started commenting on their blog.

Please, each of you take five minutes each day and go give them a bit of the truth.

Mordechai Y. Scher said...

Okay, so I posted a first comment there and someone responded.

Then a third comment went up with one of the usual lies about how everything built with EU and USA money to Gaza was destroyed by Israel. I responded (comment four to their blog) by attacking that lie, and pointing out that the reality is that our Arab cousins aren't building anything in the way of a society.

Now, I see that the owners are deleting comments.

C'mon folks, go give them a piece of your mind!

Thanks, Jameel, for bringing this to our attention.

Neshama said...

Mordechai, that's great. Maybe more people could do the same. But first we need facts and figures about how much $$ is going to the other side.

Anonymous said...


I will see if I can find out anything about the people behind this... if I do i will post it here.

-- Bob

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Mordechai Y. Scher said...

Last I heard around here, those billboards may go back up. I can't verify that either way.

To those who've commented on the blog these guys run, Great job! Please keep it up!

To those who've not yet joined in, please go to the Stop30billion blog and give them a truthful objection to what they are doing.

Thanks again Jameel for bringing this up.

Wayne said...

If the arabs would stop firing rockets and undermining the peace, Israel wouldn't have to defend itself so often. Time and time again, I've seen Israel try for peace, only to face another round of arab and palestinian attacks and rocket barrages. I'm no fan of war, but when someone pushes you or pokes you in the eye, you don't stand around and put up with it.

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