A Question for the Ages

It has been a long time since I blogged at A Whispering Soul, and even longer since I last guest posted at the Muqata (which also, oddly enough, coincided with an @ the Muqata bar mitzvah), so you will have to forgive me if I am a little rusty.

Though I did experience severe Treppenwitz withdrawal the first few weeks sans blogging, it was a lot easier to step away from the blog world than I had initially imagined. Among other things, my non-blog writing flourished, my eyes were able to move from side to side, and my productivity level shot up gastronomically – with the hour and a half each night it took me to read through a day’s worth of Jack’s posts freed up, I took up Ten Li Chow, an advanced form of martial arts wherein the worthy adversary is a pair of chopsticks.

While I had intended to quit the blogosphere in its entirety, I will admit to occasionally sneaking a peak at Ezzie’s blog, but not to read (though there's good reading to be had)– only to check to see if there are any new Elianna pictures. I realize it may border on addiction, but have you seen this demonstration of sheer adorableness?!?

While I do miss certain blogs, the one thing I have missed even more is interacting (in meaningful ways) with people who are different from me, either denominationally, nationally, or religiously, which blogging facilitated. One of the classic questions I remember my friends and I asking each other in school was what one thing do you feel you are missing out on by being Orthodox. For me, it was never lobster or shrimp or a bar-and-nightclub-filled life – it was a sense of real relationship with those who were not like me.

Not so anyone else.

Every other Orthodox Jewish person I have asked that question to has responded “lobster.” Now granted, I have no credibility in the Orthodox food world, seeing as how herring and seltzer, staples of the Orthodox shul kiddush, are part of a quintet of Jewish food nightmares for me (along with chopped liver and lox and an unmentionable fifth) – but lobster? What is the appeal of a giant sea bug which is boiled alive?

Rock lobster, I could understand, as it is a catchy and kitschy B-52’s song. But non-rock lobster? Hell to the no!

It’s not as if I am just anti-lobster. I am anti-crustacean in general. Anything that crawls on the seabed and sports protruding sensors is not something I want on my plate, in my mouth, or even in my entertainment. That little crab Sebastian from The Little Mermaid (which my youngest sister made me watch with her over and over until she could recite the entire film verbatim)? Not cute. Not even remotely cute. Crab.

The only thing less appealing to me than crustaceans is fake crustaceans. And the only thing less appealing than fake crustaceans is kosher fake crustaceans. In case anyone has forgotten from a few lines ago, crustaceans are GIANT SEA BUGS!! Fake crustaceans are simulated GIANT SEA BUGS!! Kosher fake crustaceans are certified kosher simulated GIANT SEA BUGS!!

Can someone please explain the appeal?

In the meantime, I will reminisce over the wonderful meal I had with a visiting ‘laizer this past week at Darna - tomato mint soup, grilled chicken kabobs, rosemary potatoes, sautéed spinach….and not a pincer in sight….

Mazal tov to the entire @ the Muqata clan on the bar mitzvah!

Shavua Tov…

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael and away from crustaceans