Thursday, December 01, 2005

Jameel is (temporarily) leaving the Greater Los Angeles

Business Travel is a necessary evil in the world of high-tech. When I made aliya from the US, I had never been west of Chicago or south of Virginia. Starting to work at a high tech company in Israel, I found myself flying all over the USA...and the world. I visited states I had only read about in the encyclopedia. New Mexico for example. At the time, there was no kosher food in Albuquerque, so I called a Kosher Deli I knew from New Jersey and asked if they would deliver sandwiches in dry ice by Fedex. The conversation went like this:

Jameel; Hi, this is Jameel, I'd like to you know if you ship sandwiches?

Deli; Sure, we ship everywhere in the continental United States.

Jameel; Great! I'd like 4 cornbeef sandwiches.

Deli: No problem. Where do you want them shipped?

Jameel; I'm staying at a Residence Inn in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Deli; Um, I'm sorry, we have a problem with that.

Jameel: Why? What's wrong?

Deli; As I told you before, we only ship within the United States.

Jameel: what's the problem?

Deli: Well, you said you're in Mexico...and that's a different country.

Jameel: I'm sorry, I'm in New Mexico...not Mexico.

Deli: Sir, I don't care if its New Mexico, or Old Mexico, we only ship to the United States, and not out of the country.

Jameel: New Mexico is one of the 50 States.

Deli: No its not. we only ship within the United States.

Jameel: Can I speak to your manager please?

Deli: I am the manager!

Jameel: I'll make you a deal. Call FEDEX. If they are willing to ship to New Mexico as part of the United States, then will you send it.

Deli: OK...I'll do that much for you. You're a real idiot though for wasting my time. Since the customer is always right, I'll call up for you.

I got the food 3 days later.

Bottom Line; I'm going to the Greater Los Angeles area for a week. Limited Speaking Engagements. Contact me for more info.


Ezzie said...

Ah, the pleasures of the tri-state area...

Cleveland apparently is in Canada, as is Milwaukee.

Jack's Shack said...

LA is the place baby. Israel is among the few places in the world aside from LA that I would want to live in.

Good food, good people and great weather, most of the time.

GregoryT said...

Gotta love those New York (area) Jews. I once was at B&H (huge photo store in Manhattan owned and opearated by frum/chassidish Jews), so when I was in the check out, and told the cashier (chossid) that I'm from Chicago - I've got a question, "are there yidden in Chicago?"

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

The most eye opening part of yeshiva in Israel was realizing how pathetically provincial the Tri-State Jewish community is.

Meeting other yeshiva guys from around the world was great...and I made a lot of lasting friendships.

You know what they say...

Knows 3 languages = Trilingual

Knows 2 languages = Bilingual

Knows 1 languge = American

Shifra said...

I'm not sure I'd want to LIVE in LA but Jack is right, there is a TON of delicious kosher food out there!

tafka PP said...

Don't forget to put some of the sand of Eretz Yisrael in your shoes before you go.

daaty said...

'its all about the corned beef.'
great trip.


Batya said...

Nu, did it taste ok? Did you get food poisoning, the Jewish mother in me worries about your health. When in doubt, live on bananas. But LA should have kosher food. enjoy

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Batya; I'm leaving motzei shabbat on ELAL001 to NYC...connecting to a flight to LA.

Shavua tov.

Anonymous said...

How come you can leave the Muqata when Arafat couldn't?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

anonymous: Cause Arafat's dead.

Search the Muqata


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