There are loads of perks I receive as a member of the powerful Likud Central Committee (LCC). For example, the scorn of my wife. The endless meetings I need to shlep to in Tel Aviv (where I have to pay for parking). Heard this?
Teacher asks each kid in class what their father does;
Kid #1: My father's a doctor.
Kid #2: My father's a businessman.
Kid #3: He's a male stripper in a gay bar.
The teacher hurriedly ends the conversation and pulls Kid #3 over.
"Aren't you embarrassed to say that in front of the class?" the teacher whispers to the child.
He whispers back, "Well, If I told them the truth that he's a member of the Likud Central Committee, I'd never be able to show my face in class again."
Even MK Gila Gamliel sends out "personalized" birthday telegrams. That makes me feel real special, knowing that the Israeli taxpayer is funding my birthday telegrams from the Knesset.
Yet, the worst is this week. On Thursday is the primaries for the Likud's list of MKs for the upcoming election. My phone rings off the hook as I get calls from every parliamentary aide of every (remaining) Likud MK and wannabe..."pretty please...please please please...with sugar on top...will you please vote for me?"
That's bad. Yet nothing compares to the hatred towards me from our local postal lady. She's usually a nice person, except for this week -- I'm her #1 problem.
Piles and piles of promotional Likud mail arrives at our tiny mailbox every day. CDs, DVDs, Unreadable micro tehillim books, tacky glossy postcards, books on every topic you can imagine, and even leather-bound prayers for "parnassa".
So much JUNK mail that our postal lady goes insane...at me.
"Why did you do this?? What did I ever do to you to deserve this??" She rants at me. I probably make up a huge portion of all the mail being delivered to our entire settlement.
Thank G-d it will stop after tomorrow's election primaries.
Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael
Teacher asks each kid in class what their father does;
Kid #1: My father's a doctor.
Kid #2: My father's a businessman.
Kid #3: He's a male stripper in a gay bar.
The teacher hurriedly ends the conversation and pulls Kid #3 over.
"Aren't you embarrassed to say that in front of the class?" the teacher whispers to the child.
He whispers back, "Well, If I told them the truth that he's a member of the Likud Central Committee, I'd never be able to show my face in class again."
Even MK Gila Gamliel sends out "personalized" birthday telegrams. That makes me feel real special, knowing that the Israeli taxpayer is funding my birthday telegrams from the Knesset.
Yet, the worst is this week. On Thursday is the primaries for the Likud's list of MKs for the upcoming election. My phone rings off the hook as I get calls from every parliamentary aide of every (remaining) Likud MK and wannabe..."pretty please...please please please...with sugar on top...will you please vote for me?"
That's bad. Yet nothing compares to the hatred towards me from our local postal lady. She's usually a nice person, except for this week -- I'm her #1 problem.
Piles and piles of promotional Likud mail arrives at our tiny mailbox every day. CDs, DVDs, Unreadable micro tehillim books, tacky glossy postcards, books on every topic you can imagine, and even leather-bound prayers for "parnassa".
So much JUNK mail that our postal lady goes insane...at me.
"Why did you do this?? What did I ever do to you to deserve this??" She rants at me. I probably make up a huge portion of all the mail being delivered to our entire settlement.
Thank G-d it will stop after tomorrow's election primaries.
Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael
5 comments:
Can I throw out today's shipment or do you want to see it? -me
As you wish!
So you made your postal lady, go postal.
As Instapundit would say: Heh!
David: And I think she carries a pistol as well!
I'll post a story one of these days about during the first days of the current intifada, when I was stopped by an Israeli post truck.
One of my stranger stories.
One of my stranger stories.
I guess that's really saying something :-)
Post a Comment