Free Online Hagadda - Teachings of R' Soloveitchik

הגדה של פסח – עוד יוסף חי

Haggadah based on the Teachings of Harav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik Zatza"l

Collected and semi-edited by Rabbi Ari Kahn.

This is an unfinished work in progress, much of the material was collected from other students of the Rov, or from tapes of shiurim.

Perhaps one day this work will be completed, in the interim so people can learn the Torah of Morenu Harav Zatza"l. To see the hagadda for reading and printing, go to here:

rabbiarikahn.com/therav.html

If you have any comments or observations – please contact the editor, R' Ari Kahn at Adk1010@gmail.com





Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

The Hagdadda Through Facebook

Or Read it all here.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Israeli Arab Knesset Member Wants Nuclear Iran

David Bedein and Samuel Sokol interviewed Fifth Columnist Member of Knesset Hanin Zoabi for the Philadelphia Bulletin. (Read it all here)...and now its on the JPost as well.

Newly elected to Knesset Zoabi thinks a nuclear Iran is a good idea to counter-balance Israel, calls Israel an "aggressor state", welcomes Iranian military support to Gaza, insists that Zionism is inherently racist, and wants to eliminate the Jewish and Zionist nature of Israel.

Interviewed in English twice in recent days - in her Knesset office and in a Jerusalem hotel - Zuabi, one of Balad's three MKs and the former director of the I'lam: Media Center for Arab Palestinians in Israel, said Iran's role in Palestinian affairs was "more useful" than that of regimes like Jordan and Egypt, in that Iran stood more firmly "against occupation than a lot of the Arab countries. This is our interest."

She said Egypt and Jordan were scared of a free and democratic Palestinian state.

Queried regarding Iran's quest to manufacture nuclear weapons, Zuabi stated that having Israel as the region's sole nuclear power was disadvantageous. "It would be more supporting me to have a counter-power to Israel," she said. "I need something to balance [Israel's] power." (Jpost)

In Chelm, they tell jokes about Israel.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

IDF Prosecutor Closes Case on abuse in Gaza.

What started out as a roar, has died down to nothing.

After Haaretz reported (and opinioned) that IDF soldiers intentionally shot and killed innocent Gazan civilians, the IDF Chief Prosecutor opened an investigation into alleged war crimes.

The IDF Chief Prosecutor, Brigadier General Avi Mandelblit quickly determined that the "facts" presented by Haaretz, were totally unsubstantiated by any factual evidence whatsoever. (YNET)

This was blatantly obvious to me at the time, since the primary mission of Haaretz to is slander the Israel and the IDF, and with so many religious soldiers and officers, the IDF is a prime target.

Till the next time (probably tomorrow).

PS: Here's a good example from last week. See how Haaretz believes it's a crime against humanity for religious officers to avoid mixed swimming. The cultural elite of Israel's liberal left is so anti-religious that that they insist on forced melting pot secularization to the point that they believe letting religious soldiers NOT attend mixed swimming events is evil.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Engaged on an Egged Bus

And then an Israeli Cop stops them in the middle...

hat-tip: Staam! (with 2 A's)

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Ghost Haunts Jewish House in London?

One of my daughters worries a lot.

You name it, she worries about it...

Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Tornadoes, the Plague, Monsters under the bed, etc. This past Shabbat, one of the kids pulled out the weekly "Ask the Cellphone Rabbi" (SMS question and answers) list from a parsha [weekly Torah portion] sheet, and there was a question to the effect of "Do I need to be scared of spirits". The rabbi answered that he had never seen any, and regardless, there is a tradition that spirits don't abound or harm people in the Land of Israel.

Much to my daughter's horror, our oldest son snarkily interjected with a Talmudic story that if you put flour on the floor around your bed when you go to sleep, you'll see chicken tracks/footprints in the flour in the morning, which prove that demons danced around your bed at night.

(Note: a guaranteed fate worse than death is to start putting flour on the floor round your bed a week before Pesach...after the room has been cleaned)

Trying to calm my daughter, I told her that was probably from the "Talmud Bavli" -- the Babylonian Talmud, which was written outside of Israel. And besides, we have no reason to assume there are ghosts or demons lurking around...don't bother them, they won't bother you.

She forgot about the ghosts and we got back to eating lunch.

And then, the following appears exclusively in today's (Monday) Hebrew-Language Israeli newspaper Yisrael HaYom (Israel Today): "Ghost Found in Rabbi's House"

In one of the Jewish communities in London, a ghost is apparently haunting the home of a rabbi.

Two weeks ago, the rabbi turned to the RCE [J@TM: Rabbinical Council of Europe] for help expunging the home from the spirit haunting it. In a letter to the RCE the rabbi wrote that his friend was recently appointed rabbi of a different community in London and when he arrived for Shabbat and Holidays with his family [J@TM: I assume, till they move in permanently] he was given the home above the community synagogue to stay in. This home is where the community's previous rabbi used to live.

Someone closely involved in this episode told "Yisrael Hayom": "In the past few months, the new rabbi noticed a "strange presence" in the house, closed windows would suddenly open and at nights there would be knocks on doors and other weird sounds."

At first, the Rabbi was concerned about asking his community about the phenomena worried they would assume he had gone mad. Yet when he carefully asked about the subject, other community members verified his suspicions and he was not the first to raise such complaints about the house. According to the rumors, it was the spirit of the first rabbi of the synagogue, who died 40 years ago."

The RCE went to Israel's Chief Rabbinate -- and the Sephardi Chief Rabbi, R' Shlomo Amar advised them to "read the "Chanukat Habayit prayer [J@TM: for entering a new home], and a "Tikun" [J@TM: Kabbalistic prayer for "corrections'"] on behalf of the dead, in memory of the Rabbi who used to live at the house.

An additional suggestion came from R' Yitzchak Batzri, one of Israel's noted Kabbalists of today, who asked to give him the name of the deceased rabbi so he could personally conduct a "Tikkun" prayer.

R' Batzri added that if the "Tikkun" did not work, it was a sign that the spirit haunting the house was that of someone else, and he would try again.

R' Morderchai Biton from the RCE told "Yisrael Hayom":

"Normally, our organization deals with communal issues, yet this issue is rather extraordinary. From our perspective, this issue was received with serious respect, and it is being dealt with by Rabbis who are experts in Kabbala. The answer has been given to the Rabbi who raised the issue"

Ynetnews just picked up this story as well (but I translated more of the article than they did).

Just don't tell my daughter about this. She worries more than enough.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

-- Advertisement --

Pesach is speeding up on us, and there are Muqata readers coming to Israel looking for fun/cool/exciting/different things to do in Israel. And of course there are those in Israel looking for what to do during Pesach break.

Once again, Caliber-3 is running programs just for you...

Thanks to the Caliber 3 Shooting Range this girl is a crack shot.

And so are the guys!



Even him! (Just Kidding)




What about you?

If you're visiting Israel (or live here) then learn to shoot at the Caliber 3 Shooting Range with top Israeli anti-Terror experts.

The basic package includes explanations of the security situations Israelis face, examples of different anti-Terrorist techniques, and of course the fun part - Shooting pistols and M-16s.

The program is open to individuals, groups, and families. As you can see from the photos on their site everyone is having a great time.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Revenge of the Seder Paraders

When my wife was growing up, Pesach cleaning was often always done to the tune of this "classic" album, The Seder Paraders (hear them all here) on a vinyl LP record.

Fast Forward to the 21rst century. Seems like the only motivation we can come up with for our teenagers to start seriously (helping) to clean is that if they DONT help, we'll download the Seder Paraders to their iPods.

Any other ideas?

(Oh yeah, now I know where Mrs. Balabusta got her name from).


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

"Tavor" rifle gaining popularity

The Israeli designed and manufactured "Tavor" assault rifle is continuing to make inroads within the IDF's infantry ground forces.

After the "Tavor" became the rifle of choice for the "Givati" and "Golani" brigades, the IDF Spokesman has confirmed that the "Nachal" Brigagde will be switching to this rifle during 2010.

“The Tavor is the rifle of the future for the Infantry Corps soldiers, and we are introducing it in the compulsory and reserve units by means of an ongoing process,” explains Maj. Dudu Artzi, the Head of the Rifle Department at the Ground Forces Weaponry Unit.

The Tavor, produced by Israel Weapon Industries, is shorter and more comfortable than the M-16.. The ground forces have expressed their satisfaction with the integration of the rifle in the Golani Brigade and report that the feedback from the soldiers is very positive.

Another advantage of the Tavor is the fact that it is an Israeli product, which strengthens the Israeli industry and lessens Israel’s dependence of foreign companies – the M-16 is produced by the American company, Colt. (IDF Spox)

I'm not complaining at all about my converted M16 to M4 rifle, but if offered a Tavor, I'd happily switch.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

IAF Attacked Sudan during Cast Lead operation

Haaretz quotes CBS on one of the previously unknown operations in the IDF's Cast-lead Gaza offensive 3 months ago.

While the Prime Minister's office is refusing comment (as it should), that didn't stop past IAF commander Eitan Ben Eliyahu from heaping praise on the IAF.

The Israel Air Force carried out an attack last January against a convoy of trucks in Sudan carrying arms for Hamas in the Gaza Strip, according to the American network CBS.

According to the report, 39 people riding in 17 trucks were killed, while civilians in the area suffered injuries.

Official Israeli sources refused to confirm or deny on Wednesday any report of Israel's involvement in an air strike in Sudan.

However, Sudanese State Minister for Highways Mabrouk Mubarak Saleem was quoted in the Paris-based Sudan Tribune Web site as saying that a "major power bombed small trucks carrying arms, burning all of them."

The strike "killed Sudanese, Eritreans and Ethiopians, and injured others," Saleem added.

CBS News national security correspondent David Martin broke the story. He says that Israeli intelligence learned of plans to move weapons through Sudan, north toward Egypt and then via the Sinai into the Gaza Strip.

According to Martin, Israel and the U.S. had signed an agreement for closer international efforts to block smuggling of arms into the Gaza Strip.

During the final days of the Israeli offensive against Hamas, Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni and her American counterpart Condoleezza Rice signed a security-intelligence memorandum on intensifying cooperation in a joint effort to block the smuggling of arms from Iran to Hamas via Sudan.

The Sudanese news site said the attack took place "in a desert area northwest of Port Sudan city, near Mount al-Sha'anun."

According to SudanTribune.com, the airstrike was an "embarrassment" to Sudan's government, and it discussed the matter with Egypt's government "to gather more information to formulate a response." (Read the rest here)

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Labor is better than Kadima

Driving to work this morning, I heard MK [Likud] Dr. Yuval Steinetz on IDF (Galei Tzahal) radio, saying how Netanyahu wants as wide a coalition as possible, including Labor and Kadima.

I laughed out loud hearing this, as its so obviously a "spin" and has nothing to do with reality.

Both Labor and Likud despise the Kadima party. Their shared antagonism is based on individual issues, but its useful for these 2 parties to work towards a common goal -- the destruction of Kadima.

Kadima was born out of Arik Sharon's refusal to accept the democratic decision of the Likud membership's rejection of the "Disengagement." Sharon brought the Disengagement to a vote of the entire membership, not only the "Central Committee", and promised to adhere to their decision. Sharon blatantly ignored the vote's outcome, "Disengaged" from Gaza, formed the Kadima party, and bolted from the Likud, taking many Likud leaders with him, including Olmert, Livni, HaNegbi, Mofaz, Hischenson, and others. Absent of ideology and created as a "centrist" party, many disenfranchised Likud voters moved towards the Kadima party.

From the Left, Kadima also drew from the Labor party, including Peres, Itzik, Ramon, and Labor party voters have also moved in the direction of Kadima, shrinking the Labor party.

So while Steinetz may issues spins that the Likud wants a government with Livni, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Prior to the election, Dr. Benny Begin gave an interview on the radio (also IDF radio) urging people to vote Likud. He said if you feel you must vote for a party to the left of the Likud, he suggested "voting for a party with a well founded ideology". MK Shellly Yechimovitch [Labor] spoke right after Begin on the same program, where I have never heard nicer things from her about the Likud. She echoed Begin's comments, "if you vote for a party to the right of Labor, please don't vote Kadima, but for a serious party, like the Likud."

Today, MK Tzippy Hotebelli said "Kadima is the ultimate expression of opportunism. One should never forget their responsibility for the Disengagement, the second war in Lebanon, and the [political and strategic] failures of the Cast Lead operation which did not end as it should have."

Note: Yet another rocket was launched from Gaza at Israel around 11:40 AM this morning towards the Sdot Negev region. No damage or injuries were reported.

While I'm not thrilled about Labor joining the government, I'd be much more disgusted if Kadima had joined.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Oh Nuts. Whatchya gonna buy for Pesach?

Paid Advertisement

This Passover, treat your guests with Passover Cake & Desserts, thank your host with a Passover Gift Baskets and delight your kids with Passover Candy or with Passover Chocolate.

All from Oh! Nuts. As the leading source for kosher candy, chocolates, nuts and gifts, Oh! Nuts is fully stocked with all your Passover Food and Passover Seder needs.

Oh Nuts Live Blogging Schedule:

Oh! Nuts Shipping Schedule for April 2009

Please Note: From April 8 - April 16, Oh! Nuts will not be shipping out items not labeled as "Kosher for Passover". Please plan accordingly.

Tuesday, April 7

Orders received before 3 PM will ship out same day. Regular Orders Placed after 3 PM will ship out beginning Friday, April 17. Orders for Passover items will ship out on Wednesday, April 8

Wednesday, April 8

Orders for Passover items received by 1 PM will ship out as usual. Orders for Passover items received After 1 PM will ship out Monday, April 13. Other orders will ship out beginning Friday, April 17.

Thursday, April 9 - Sunday April 12 (Passover Weekend)
Orders for Passover items will ship out Monday, April 13. Other orders will ship out beginning Friday, April 17.

Monday, April 13 - Tuesday, April 14 (Chol HaMoed)
Orders for Passover items will ship out as usual. Other orders will ship out beginning Friday, April 17.

Wednesday, April 15 - Thursday, April 16

All orders will ship out beginning Friday, April 17.

Friday, April 17

We resume our regular shipping schedule.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

News Roundup, March 25th

You can't make up the news - real life is so much more entertaining.

1. Over the years, the Muqata blog has followed all sorts of interesting items sold on ebay -- including the joke offer of the entire Israeli city of Petach Tikva.

However, a synagogue in Givat Shmuel (near Bnei Brak) is now seriously offering for bids on ebay the privilege to name their shul after the highest bidder, starting at $600,000.

2. Its only 2 weeks away from Birkat HaChama -- the special blessing recited only once in 28 years after the cosmic cycle of the (symbolic) approximate location of the sun at the time of creation. The NY Times even wrote about it back in April 1897...(hat-tip, R' Tzvi and DovBear).

Click here for the whole article.

3. Speaking of Birkat HaChama -- for those interested, while it does occur on Erev Pesach this coming year, and Erev Pesach is always a crazy, busy day -- a group of people are arranging the recital of Birkat HaChama on Har Habayit -- the Temple Mount (after ritual purification in a mikva, of course).

Translation:

Unique Experience -- Erev Pesach and Birkat HaChama on Har Habayit (Temple Mount). Going up on Wednesday, 14th of Nissam at 7:30 AM.

+ [Bus and cars] Leaving from the Mikva in Kiryat Arba/Hevron at 4:45 AM.
+ "Vatikin" (Early Morning Prayers) at the Kotel/Western Wall.
+ "Siyum" (Finishing a tractate of Talmud), breaking the "Fast of the First Born", and food before going to the Temple Mount.
+ "Birkat HaChama" according to the custom of Rav Goren.

Mandatory: One must go to the mikva before going to Har Habayit. One must not go to the Temple Mount with leather shoes. One must come with identification.

For more details and registration:
Yitzchak: 054-411-5809
Assaf: 02-996-3020
Gershon: 02-996-1430.

(If you do plan on going, please let me know -- I'd be happy to get a first hand description of your experience...it's too difficult for me on Erev Pesach to go back and forth to Jerusalem...)

4. Has it really been 3 years since I wrote this? Its all about the differences between men and women (Mars and Venus) about how they approach Pesach cleaning.

Worth a read -- nothing has changed since then either, except I've started doing Pesach shopping.

That's all for now.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Is the Red-Dead a Dead-End?

One of the ideas touted out by those searching for Peace in our Time is the Red-Dead plan.

The idea is to redirect part of the water from the Red Sea to the Dead Sea via a water canal or pipe.

The concepts driving this is that the cooperation on this plan would help create peace. The second is that it would help create hydroelectric energy and desalinated water for the region, and the third is that it would refill the Dead Sea.

Dead Sea elevation levels

Of course this plan has some major drawbacks, and let's discuss them (from last to first).

While true it would (probably) refill the Dead Sea, at first glance there is a much higher chance of regional ecological/environmental damage (assuming you want to keep the ecology the same as it is today) from water coming from the Red Sea than if you instead brought in the water from the Mediterranean.

But of course if the water is filtered and desalinated in both cases, than that won't matter and the damage is unlikely, so that is a moot argument.

(Where do they dump the brine?)

And of course there is the real estate issue, that this will turn the Red-Dead Canal into a hotel and real estate zone. It will bring development into the region.

Personally I'm not against that, and that wouldn't happen with a Med-Dead Canal.

But only if you are one of those anti-development environmentalists can this be seen as a bad thing. So that argument in moot in my book too.

Of course, on whose side of the canal would the hotels and real estate development be? Would Israel get any development from it?

If you look at the map, the entire canal is deep within Jordanian territory, there is no real estate advantages to Israel that I can see. (Will Jordan change their law and allow Yitzchak Tshuva, a Jew, to own land in Jordan?)


In terms of hydroelectric energy and desalination, both plans should have a benefit, but I suspect that generating electricity from a 1250 foot elevation drop-off from the closer Mediterranean (80 kilometer) would be much cheaper than the 200 kilometer trip from the Red Sea.

In terms of net electrical production, the Med-Dead would produce more electricity and cheaper (remember desalination and transport costs) than the Red-Dead.

In terms of desalinated water, if Israel is to get any of it, it is much easier (closer) and cheaper to get it transported to our water system from the Med than from the Red, where it would have to be transported back up the incline to Jerusalem and central Israel.

In short, in terms of net energy generation, and water for Israel, the Red-Dead makes absolutely no sense at all, while the Med-Dead makes all the sense.

But now last but not least is the Peace factor.

There are two groups pushing this, the developers and the True Believers.

The idea for this post came up because there is concern that Egypt may scuttle their natural gas sales to Israel.

And if you look at it, there are almost no real (large-scale) joint projects between Israel and it's neighbors with who we have peace treaties (well, we already unilaterally supply a tremendous amount of water to Jordan).

And the projects we do have are always under threat of Arab withdrawal and boycott.

Do we really need yet another project dependent on their good will and political dispositions when we can do this independently, create self-sufficiency, and not be constantly under threat? (Unless that is the goal of the True Believers).

Have any of those other projects brought or helped maintain peace? I'm hard-pressed to say yes (besides US military aid to Egypt, which has its own major set of problems).

In terms of developers, I am sure they will make tremendous amounts of money, just like the Jericho casino did until the PA decided that murder was more important than money.

But regardless, the developers will continue to push this, using "peace" as the emotional motivator (and to get UN and other donor countries money to build it and their expense), though everyone involved knows ultimately its just about the dollars.

In terms of the True Believers, I suspect it is only Peres and Co. that are pushing for it for that reason.

After all, there are no real benefits to Israel that couldn't be had more cheaply, quickly, and profitably by a Med-Dead Canal instead.

In fact, (besides elevating the Dead Sea) in terms of water and electricity there is no benefit to Israel at all - except for "Peace", and we already have a shaky, useless peace treaty with Jordan - this project won't strengthen that.

Personally, I'm not even sure how this project will bring peace as after all, as it all occurs in Arab territory.

In fact, I don't think Israel is even needed to make it happen. Would it relieve long-term water issues for Jordan? For sure, but again, they don't need Israel for that.

So where's the peace dividend?

And finally, as I'm writing this I realize that the Red-Med may actually be counterproductive to Peace.

One idea touted is that there will be a war in the future due to lack of water resources in the region, and this will resolve that pressure.

But at the moment, Israel supplies Jordan with a tremendous amount of water.

Imagine if we no longer had to. Would Jordan continue to need to be semi-cordial with us now that they no longer need us? Or would they revert back to their natural state of undisguised enmity?

Now imagine if instead of yet another peace plan that makes Israel dependent on our neighbors, a peace plan that makes our neighbors more dependent on being nice to us.

If Israel were to build the Med-Dead plan (or the less practical Med-Kinneret plan), and then used that system to sell even more (needed) water to the Jordanians - wouldn't that make much more sense and peace more likely by simply requiring them to continue to be peaceful (nonbelligerent) to us for their own continued benefit, whether they liked it or not?

There would even still be cooperation, but this time Israel benefits too, for real.

Conclusions: Red-Dead - Dead End.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Open News Thread - March 24, 2009

Lots of news happening in Israel today. We will be dedicating this post to all the news that you need to know from Israel today.

Latest updates on top.

11:30 PM Overheard in the Likud corridors: In order to be a government minister, one needs to move over to Labor.

Many Likud MKs afraid to speak out loud in order to not lose their dwindling chance at a ministerial position.

7:53 PM Labor votes to join Bibi-led coalition. Barak promises to be opposing force within the government.

5:25 PM Impressive gallery of photos from Um Al Fahm today.

4:17 PM Qassam rocket launched from Gaza -- lands just south of Ashkelon. No injuries, no damage.

11:41 AM Photos from the march today. Interesting sign reads "Racism = Violence" yet the only violence came from the Arab and Leftists who pelted the police with rocks, not from the demonstrators who only marched, carrying Israeli flags through sovereign Israeli territory for 10 minutes.

(source)

10:48 AM Jewish marcher end march peacefully as expected. Arabs throw rocks at marchers. Police use tear gas and stun grenades to prevent escalation of Arab violence.

10:45 AM Intermittent blackouts throughout Gush Etzion.

10:12 AM Policeman stabbed by Palestinian in Tel Aviv yesterday while being apprehended in the middle of stealing a car. Second Palestinian escaped.

9:56 AM Rocks thrown at Israeli police at Uhm El-Fahm junction. Police arresting protesters. Situation looks like it is growing out of control.

9: 49 AM Likud and Ehud Barak's representatives in Labor sign Letter of Understanding for a coalition agreement.

Main points include (1) the Likud agreement to uphold international political treaties signed by the State of Israel (this intentionally vague wording leaves wiggle room as the PA is not an international recognized state), (2) illegal outposts will be dismantled according to law (this intentionally vague wording leaves wiggle room as the outposts can then be legalized).

This agreement will be brought to the Labor party committee for approval or rejection. Intense internal battle raging within the Labor party.

Other possible outcomes include Labor party split or Barak leaving Labor and being Defense Minister independent of any party.

9:47 AM At police request, the 100 Jewish marchers have been transferred from regular buses to armored, bullet proof buses due to escalated tensions and fears that Uhm El-Fahm residents will resort to extreme violence as they announced they would.

9:43 AM IDF Radio (Galei Tzahal) reports: Due to upcoming scheduled march of 100 demonstrators with Israeli flags led by National Union (Ichud Leumi) MK Dr. Michael Ben-Ari in the town of Uhn El-Fahm (Wadi Ara area), Israel's police has over 3000 border policemen and Yassam troops in anti-riot gear to provide Marcher's safety.

At the Uhm El-Fahm junction (Road 65) hundreds of Arab and Leftist demonstrators are waving Palestinian flags and chanting anti-Israel rhetoric.

Hundreds of Arab school children are wear kafiyah masks covering their faces and brandishing rocks in preparation for the marchers arrival.

9:40 AM At 10:00 AM today Jerusalem and surrounding areas will be testing the emergency sirens. Do Not Panic. The sirens will sound for one minute. In the event of a real emergency, the sirens will sound for more than a minute.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

First Thought (Part 3)

JoeSettler here.

Shas just joined the coalitions. In continuation of seeing which earlier predictions came true, let's check how thinks are shaping up.

I said:
Religious Affairs: /Shas
They did:
Religious Affairs: /Shas

I said:
Interior Minister: Eli Yishai/Shas
They did:
Interior Minister: Eli Yishai/Shas

I said:
Building and Construction: Katzaleh/Ichud Leumi
They did:
Building and Construction: /Shas

I said:
Education: Hershowitz/Bayit Yehudi or Shas
They did:
Education: Not Shas (still open)

I said:
Communications: Ariel Attias/Shas
They did:
Communications: Not Shas (still open)


Some of the Positions/Predictions that are still open:
Finance: Bennie Begin/Likud
Deputy Prime Minister: Lieberman/Yisrael Beiteinu
Finance: Bennie Begin/Likud
Social Affairs: UTJ
Education
Communications

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Allegations agaisnt IDF based on rumors, not fact.

Updated: In addition to my post below, the following YNET article appeared as well. There are probably thousands of furious IDF reserve soldiers who are disgusted by Haaretz's report, and the slander from an IDF NCO who wasn't even in Gaza (let alone seen battle).

"I don’t believe there were soldiers who were looking to kill (Palestinians) for no reason," said 21-year-old Givati Brigade soldier Assaf Danziger, who was lightly injured three days before the conclusion of Operation Cast Lead.

"What happened there was not enjoyable to anyone; we wanted it to end as soon as possible and tried to avoid contact with innocent civilians," he said.

...

A Paratroopers Brigade soldier who also participated in the war called the claims "nonsense". Speaking on condition of anonymity, he said "It is true that in war morality can be interpreted in many different ways, and there are always a few idiots who act inappropriately, but most of the soldiers represented Israel honorably and with a high degree of morality.

"For instance, on three separate occasions my company commander checked soldiers' bags for stolen goods. Those who stole the smallest things, like candy, were severely punished," he said.

"We were forbidden from sleeping in Palestinians' beds even when we had no alternate accommodations, and we didn’t touch any of their food even after we hadn't had enough to eat for two days."

Israel's most anti-Zionist Hebrew daily newspaper, Haaretz, let loose with a bombshell of an "exclusive expose" today about the IDF's actions during the "Cast Lead" operation in Gaza: IDF in Gaza: Killing civilians, vandalism, and lax rules of engagement

Haaretz "reports:"

During Operation Cast Lead, Israeli forces killed Palestinian civilians under permissive rules of engagement and intentionally destroyed their property, say soldiers who fought in the offensive.

The soldiers are graduates of the Yitzhak Rabin pre-military preparatory course at Oranim Academic College in Tivon. Some of their statements made on Feb. 13 will appear Thursday and Friday in Haaretz. Dozens of graduates of the course who took part in the discussion fought in the Gaza operation.

The reporter goes on to beat his own drum in a separate "analysis" piece entitled, "Can Israel dismiss its own troops' stories from Gaza?"

The statements of the Israel Defense Forces soldiers from the Yitzhak Rabin preparatory course provide the first, uncensored look at what occurred in some of the combat units in Operation Cast Lead.

It seems that what soldiers have to say is actually the way things happened in the field, most of the time. And as usual, reality is completely different from the gentler version provided by the military commanders to the public and media during the operation and after.

The soldiers are not lying, for the simple reason that they have no reason to. If you read the transcript that will appear in Haaretz Friday, you will not find any judgment or boasting. This is what the soldiers, from their point of view, saw in Gaza. There is a continuity of testimony from different sectors that reflects a disturbing and depressing picture.

Now, I know plenty of soldiers who saw action in Gaza during the "Cast Lead" operation, and no one that I know saw anything remotely similar to what Haaretz described.

Fast forward to a few minutes ago. Channel 2 TV Army correspondent Roni Daniel stated at 6:30 PM this evening, that he personally tracked down one of the soldiers interviewed for the Haaretz article. Apparently the soldier's testimony to Haaretz wasn't based on anything he personally saw or witnessed, rather based on rumors and hearsay he heard (and the soldier wasn't even in Gaza!)

Truth is rarely important to Haaretz, as long as it can bash the IDF, Israel, settlers, religious Jews, or anyone not agreeing with them. As a result of their propaganda article, the entire planet picked up on their "expose" and the poison keeps propagating around the world...

Gaza-Krieg: Israels Soldaten berichten über wahlloses Töten FACTS - Ausland 12:08

Soldaten schockieren mit Aussagen über Gaza-Krieg N24.de - Politik 11:58

IDF killed civilians in Gaza under lax rules of engagement Guerrilla News Network - Headlines 11:53

Wahlloses Töten in Gaza ntv.de 11:52

Gaza-Krieg – Soldaten gestehen wahlloses Töten Die Welt Online 11:44

Israeli army orders investigation into unethical actions in Gaza Xinhua Online - Middle East 11:39

Soldados israelíes mataron a palestinos indefensos en Gaza, según militares Yahoo! Espana - Mundo 11:28

Los soldados israelíes mataron civiles en Gaza con órdenes "laxas" de combate Yahoo! Espana - Mundo 11:28

Soldados israelenses mataram palestinos indefensos em Gaza 19/03/2009 08:24 CorreioWeb - Mundo 11:25

- Exterior » Soldados israelenses mataram civis em Gaza sem representar ameaça, diz jornal Clica Brasilia - Ultimas Noticias 11:22

Israeli troops in Gaza fought under 'permissive rules of engagement' The Earth Times 11:09

Israel matou civis indiscriminadamente em Gaza, diz jornal Estado.com.br - Ultimas Noticias 11:00

UPDATE: Israelis Describe Wanton Killings Of Gaza Civilians Nasdaq - Global Markets 11:00

MK Tibi demands State commission of inquiry on Gaza offensive YnetNews 10:59

Soldados israelenses mataram civis indefesos em Gaza JB Online - Internacional
10:58

Israel: Soldaten bezeugen Kriegsverbrechen in Gaza ORF.at 10:54

Israeli soldiers kill Palestinian civilians in Gaza Xinhua Online - Home 10:43

IDF orders probe into allegations over Gaza war Ha'aretz 10:36

Journal describes Gaza killings The National - Middle East 10:33

Israelis describe wanton killings of Gaza civilians Middle East Online 10:32

Mark my words My prediction: this entire story will turn out to be a tempest in a teapot, but the damage caused to Israel and the IDF has already been inflicted by Haaretz.

I'm sure their investigative reporters are already figuring out how the IDF bakes matza with blood.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

And now for something completely different

Its scary. The only time before my previous Agel post that I was rather shocked at the intensity of comments left on my blog (and hate mail) was the time I posted about "Fleeing Manilla" a few years back. Philipino Hackers threatened to hack my blog, and I decided it just wasn't worth it to keep the posts up (even if they were extremely entertaining).

So, before the Agel Fundies take over my blog completely, we're switching topics to something totally different.

Hmmm. Katzav indicted? Nothing new there.

Marzel and BenGvir going to march in Um El Fahm with an Israeli flag? I'll wait till I see it happen.

Ah, here we go...its not exactly MLM.

Gaza: Marry a Terrorist War Widow and Win 3000 US Dollars!

Hamas is offering a $3000 reward for any man willing to marry the widow of a "shahid" (a martyr), several Arab websites reported this week.

Hamas initiated the move in an attempt to lower the number of widowed women in the Gaza Strip who lost the spouses who provided for them and their children, and in order to ease their emotional grief and financial difficulties.

Hamas hopes that by encouraging men to wed these women, it will be providing them with stability and a better life.

According to the report, Hamas has set a number of terms that the grooms must meet in order to receive the money: The men must be able to provide for two women or more, be religiously devout and ethical. (ynet)

Stability? Better life? Don't they also encourage suicide bombers and promises of heaven?

I wonder if we could get Hamas hooked on Agel.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

New Olim to widen the Pyramid base.

I couldn't resist.

With the comments that went up about Agel taking over the Anglo communities, I was wondering to myself (as apparently were others), where are they going to find enough Anglos to keep widening the pyramid base.

And then someone answered - Nefesh B'Nefesh.



It makes sense. NBN might like having sponsors for flights. Agel needs buyers, and everyone knows there's no bigger buyer than a new Oleh right off the plane.

Why not save time?

NBN already has Misrad Hapnim and Misrad Haklita representatives on the flight. Now they will add Agel agents, just to save time.

I should patent this.

(Apologies to NBN, but I couldn't write this without you, and to DannyBoy and anonymous for the idea).

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Its a bird...its a plane...its A-jel

Is there anyone on the planet who doesn't want to "get rich quick" or "work smart, not hard" and "retire in only a few years"?

Chances are you'll be approached over the course of your lifetime by a representative of an "organization" that will use any of the above buzz phrases to entice you to join them in their venture to make you rich.

Unfortunately, they will get extremely offended if you refer to their business as a "pyramid scheme" and they will always reply, "Pyramid Schemes are illegal -- We're a Multi-Level-Marketing (MLM) Network Marketing Opportunity organization! (source)

Unless of course, you're trying to market the scheme to Homer Simpson, and in that case you would say:

Seminar speaker: "First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you've been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid scheme, guaranteed to give you an eight-hundred percent return...." (The Simpsons, Season 3, Episode 12)

Which brings us to one of the most "popular and exciting" Trapezoidal MLM Network Marketing Opportunity in Israel today -- "Agel"

The purists will tell you that "illegal pyramid schemes" are where no goods are exchanged, so the "Agel scheme" is not illegal. It may be unethical and immoral, but it's not illegal.

The question is, why does anyone need "Agel" which is sold exclusively through the Agel distribution network and not available in stores?

First, what is Agel? The simple answer: vitamins in "jell" form.

Marketing 101 teaches you the naming and branding is essential. No one will buy a product entitled, "Bitter Herb Monster-Sized Pills". You need s slick name, and "Agel" fits the bill. Going one step further, its classed by its marketeers as belonging to a made-up industry, "gelceuticals" (sounds strikingly similar to the serious industry known as "pharmaceuticals", doesn't it?)

In trying to convince us that Agel is a fantastic business opportunity, they will write things as follows:

"If you think that this is just another scam and don't believe gelceuticals will explode in the near future then don't invest... simple as that. But the truth is they will surpass all the pills, powder supplements, shakes, etc. If you like what you hear about the product, then perhaps you should do more research instead of saying "oh it's just another scheme or scam" you and I know that it's called ignorance.

Just like other pro-Agel people before me have written I challenge you to find out more about it, without saying "oh it looks like a pyramid structure it must be a scam".

And then, they drop statements from official looking press releases like this:

Predicted to be the next trillion dollar industry, AskMeWhyAgel.com Gelceuticals business opportunity is ground breaking in the marketplace by leading in an unequaled innovative revolution.

Yet ask yourself, why do we really need vitamins in jell form? Is this so much more useful than regular vitamins supplements? Is Agel a better solution than healthy eating?

No proof exists that gel technology is in any way better – in fact there is a greater danger of the product ingredients becoming unstable and breaking down.

If this product is so amazing, why aren't there over the counter versions of this amazing, revolutionary product, sold by other companies? (Readers, help me out here if I'm wrong...)

In Israel, this product is marketed as Kosher, and the Agel website points us to an OU kosher certification that expired a year and a half ago.

Again, its important to keep in mind that not every product with an OU on it is good for you, let alone healthy.

I found the following products that are also OU certified Kosher, yet I would advise you call your local poison control center if you accidentally ingested any of it.

A closer reading from the Agel website brings us some interesting points about their miracle product (starting with a clear statement on their advertising literature: "These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA" )

Should pregnant woman use Agel products?

There are some ingredients in Agel EXO that have been listed in some texts as not appropriate for pregnant women. Consequently, we recommend that pregnant women not consume EXO. If you are pregnant, prior to taking any vitamin, herbs, supplements, or over-the-counter medications, we recommend that you consult with your physician.

Can women take Agel products while breast-feeding?

We recommend that you review the ingredients in these products with your physician prior to using them while breast-feeding.

Should children use Agel MIN?

As a point of reference, the American Academy of Pediatrics does not endorse vitamin supplementation in children under the age of 16, except for specific groups with chronic illnesses. Furthermore, the mineral needs of children are unclear.

Should children use Agel FIT?

We recommend consulting with your pediatrician about appropriate food supplementation and weight management regimens for children. As a general rule, we do not recommend diet aids for children, and we therefore do not recommend using Agel FIT in the pediatric population. We do advocate healthy eating habits and plenty of physical activity as a means for children to manage weight. To initiate an early habit of dependence on dieting aids in childhood may be sending the wrong message.

Why did my skin feel hot and appear slightly red with OHM? OHM contains B3 in the form of niacinamide. It can have a flushing reaction. Sometimes the skin temporarily feels hot and gets red and sometimes a rash appears, but then disappears after a while. It is not harmful, just a bit scary if never experienced before.

Can Agel products help some medical conditions? Nutritional supplements are for supplementing the diet. They are not for diagnosing, mitigating, preventing or curing any diseases. As GelDocs, it is out of the scope of our legal abilities to diagnose or make recommendations for the treatment of any disease or diagnosed medical condition.

It may be out of scope for the Agel website, but the marketeers of Agel have no problem recommending agel (with official testimonials) as the miracle drug that can cure, alleviate or help: eczema, osteo-arthritis, TMJ, sinus and migraine headaches, ADHD, high cholesterol, low blood sugar, chronic fatigue, backaches, autism, those suffering from quadruple bypass heart surgery, etc.

Sounds like a real miracle drug,vitamin supplement right? Except, there is absolutely zero scientific, clinical, medical documentation to back up any of these amazing claims.

Its a dubious product to say the least -- yet thousands of Israelis are now actively selling agel, specifically in the religious and Chareid sectors. Some of the higher ups on the pyramid are making very nice "salaries" as a result of the work being done by their underlings.

The problem with MLM and pyramid-structured schemes is that the bottom tiered people have no one available to sell on their behalf or even buy the product. There's no one left to make those at the bottom, "get rich."

The charismatic, dynamic and influential people at the "top" of the pyramid are the ones making the money, while the middle and lower tiered people end up doing the hard work as they try to convince their neighbors, friends, and family that Agel is the economic and health miracle to let them live the good life.

Unfortunately, Agel is not anything a family "needs", like other products sold by more reputable MLM companies such as Amway. Amway sells household goods that everyone needs; tissues, toilet paper, soap, etc. The only real selling point of Agel, is once you get past the mega hype of it being a "vitamin" -- the point of selling it is to get people to sell it on your behalf.

Agel salesmen routinely advertise it as a miracle solution for the health ailments of society (like the list I provided above), learning disabilities, and more.

In a country like Israel, where money is tight (and this was even before the global recession), I find it immoral for charismatic Agel salesmen to get guileful, impoverished victims to buy-in to the program with the siren song of financial independence and "easy money"

For every person making a lot of money in Agel, there are hundreds who don't.

To end off -- here's a educational video from the "King of Queens" about MLM companies, and why it's common sense to avoid them like the plague.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

The Underwear Tree

Location: The Amuka...[The Depths]...North-Central Galil, Israel. Green, green Israel. (The change in the Muqata's color today is because JoeIrishSettler's been drinking too much leftover Purim whiskey)

Many readers of the Muqata know that one of the topics I really enjoy blogging about is trips around Israel. While I may have not posted about these trips for a while, I have photographed many of them quite extensively over the past few years in the hope that I'd get around to eventually posting them.

Today's your lucky day, as we explore the mystery of...The Underwear Tree.

Located in the rolling hills of Northern Israel, you have to go off the beaten path for your quest of this holy tree.

These photos were taken by me last year, as we approached the grave site of the saintly rabbi, Yonatan Ben Uziel.


R' Yonatan ben Uziel, the greatest of the students of Hillel.

It was said that when R' Yonatan ben Uziel studied Torah, any bird that flew above his head would be burned up. Rashi explains that angles would hover above his head to hear his Torah study (thus the birds were incinerated by the angels), while Tosafot explains that his learning was intense like the fires at Mount Sinai when the Torah was given...)
Such a holy place. Completely separate entrances for men and women. (These separate entrances are relatively new...though the underwear tree might be a decent explanation why one might want different entrances)



Its a long, long way to the entrance...not a chance you might accidentally see a female.

You enter the building and behold. The grave marker of R' Yonatan ben Uziel.

Friendly signs adorn the walls, like this one, located on a beaker of burning oil:

"To the attention of all: This contraption is private property. Anyone lighting candles atop of it is guilty of theft. --The Owners"

And so...the time comes to leave the building. The excitement grows, as we see the ominous sign, heralding our arrival at the hallowed spot!

Esteemed Visitors

According to the halachik (Jewish law) rulings of Rabbis and Kabbalist mystics,
it is forbidden to hang scarves,
or clothes, or other items
on this tree, the gravesite,
or within the building of the gravesite.
There is no worth to it whatsoever...and it may even do harm [to you], G-d forbid.

--Site Management.

Yet that does nothing to stop women from adorning the tree with scarves, clothing or underwear -- they believe that hanging their clothes from this tree, will help them in their quest to find their shidduch, their life partner for marriage.


Don't believe me? How about the NY Times? Or the ancient bloggers of yore who discussed this issue years ago when it first made headlines?

The "Out of Step Jew" wrote about it. As did the Balabusta in Blue Jeans, Yo Yenta, and even Miriam from Bloghd (who moved up to the big leagues, and now blogs and reports for the Jewish Chronicle). DovBear weighed in as well back then in Dec 2005, which is the stone age of blogging...and he quoted the extremely venerable Mississippi Fred McDowel's "On the Main Line" blog on the same topic. [Updated]

And you thought I was kidding about this tree. It exists, and despite the dire warning sign, women still hang their clothes from this tree...hoping to meet their bashert, their partner for marriage.

(I should mention this to Laizy Shapiro as a plot idea for a srugim episode).

While the tree above is a totally Jewish in nature, there's also a Christian urban legend underwear tree near Laughlin, Arizona. Much less serious.

That's enough for now -- Tomorrow, I shall slay the agel dragon!

--Jameel

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Dueling Posts

Hi all,

It is Jack. In the post below our fearless leader Jameel relinquished his iron grip upon the blog and his batter and provided us with a choice of blog topics.

During a recent Purim celebration Joe Settler and I decided that the old man needs a little help around this place so we are also offering you the opportunity to provide some input on blog topics.

But we are going to give you a bit more latitude and let you offer some suggestions. So here is your chance, what would you like to see us write about. Let us know and we just might make it happen.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

You decide. I'll blog it.

Limited time...so little time.

Should I blog about:

1. The Holy Underwear Tree
2. Agel in Israel
3. Israeli politics
4. Gilad Shalit fiasco

The choice is yours. First topic to get 5 votes will mean I post about it tonight.

--Jameel


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

FirstThoughts (Part 2)

JoeSettler here.

Back in February I gave my predictions (and here too) for various Ministerial positions immediately after the elections. I've since updated my thoughts on some of them, but now that the Likud and Yisrael Beiteinu have finally signed their agreement, let's see how things are turning out, and how accurate my initial predictions were.

I said:
Defense: Boogie Ya'alon/Likud
They did:
Defense: Boogie Ya'alon/Likud


I said:
Foreign: Silvan Shalom/Likud
They did:
Foreign: Lieberman/Yisrael Beiteinu


I said:
Absorption Minister: Danny Ayalon/Yisrael Beiteinu
They did:
Absorption Minister: Sofa Landver/Yisrael Beiteinu


I said:
Transportation (or Interior Security): Uzi Landau/Yisrael Beiteinu or Lieberman/Yisrael Beiteinu
They did:
Infrastructure (or Interior Security): Uzi Landau/Yisrael Beiteinu


I said:
Interior Security: Lieberman/Yisrael Beiteinu
They did:
Interior ("Public") Security: Yitzchak Aharonovitch/Yisrael Beiteinu


I said:
Tourism: No prediction
They did:
Tourism: Stas Misezhnikov/Yisrael Beiteinu


I said:
Justice Minister: Dan Meridor/Likud
They did:
Justice Minister: Yaakov Ne'eman/Joint appointment by Yisrael Beiteinu and Likud



Some of the Positions/Predictions that are still open:
Finance: Bennie Begin/Likud
Deputy Prime Minister: Lieberman/Yisrael Beiteinu
Finance: Bennie Begin/Likud
Religious Affairs: Shas
Social Affairs: UTJ
Communications: Ariel Attias/Shas
Building and Construction: Katzaleh/Ichud Leumi
Education: Hershowitz/Bayit Yehudi or Shas
Interior Minister: Eli Yisha/Shas

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Ponzi and Pyramids

How appropriate.



I'm absolutely livid at the "Agel" pyramid scheme...and you'll read about it here in the coming days. Pyramid schemes that take advantage of unfortunate souls, promising dreams of financial wealth and independence. It was obvious to me from the beginning what a pyramid scheme it was, but I never imagined what a slippery slope of unethical behavior it could produce.

One reminder: the ancient pyramids, (like those today), were all built by slaves.

The rant is just starting...

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Post Purim Roundup - The Return of Jameel?

I'm busier than I can ever recall over the past 3.5 years of blogging, and I apologize for the lack of more updates. Regardless, I'll still try to keep you all updated/amused/informed/outraged/etc.

In this vein, there are 3 post-Purim thoughts I'd like to share.

1. Mordechai and Esther -- where are they buried? In a fascinating article in the Jerusalem Post, Michael Freund discusses the parallel traditions for the burial location of the Purim heroes, Mordechai and Esther. One location is well known to Iranian Jews -- a large site in Hamadan (Shushan?), Iran (Persia).

"The mausoleum housing the shrine of Mordechai and Esther consists of a simple brick structure crowned with a dome which was built five to seven centuries ago over the underground grave sites. It is located in the northwestern city of Hamadan, about 335 kilometers west of Teheran. According to tradition, Hamadan is believed to be the site of the city of Shushan, which played such a central role in the events described in the Book of Esther.

Various travelers down through the ages took note of the site, with the first having been Benjamin of Tudela, the famed 12th century Jewish explorer."

Browsing through the web, I found a whole slew of very cool photos of the burial site from Flickr

(all rights reserved to Indigoprime)

The alternative "mesorah" of the burial place of Mordechai and Esther is near Tzfat, in the Galil of Northern Israel.

"HaRav Moshe Basola, visiting the area in 1522 (5282), depicts the grave he saw in the village of Bar'am. In his description, the grave is under a mound of rocks: "There is Queen Esther, a mound of rocks and a rovere [oak] tree to mark it." This would seem to tally with the 1537 (5297) description of the author of Yichus Ho'ovos Vehanivi'im, who notes, "This is the shape of the monument on the grave of Queen Esther, of blessed memory. Arched on top of the building is a lone rock that looks like the hats that women in this land used to wear. And every Shushan Purim a minyan goes to her grave from Tsefas and reads the Megillah there. They eat and drink and make merry."

His book shows a drawing of the grave topped by something resembling a hat similar to an Arab tarbush. Perhaps it is some sort of raised hat topped by a knob." (source)

(photo source here, more info here)

I have more photos from the site in Northern Israel from my trip last year (where I took spooky photos and posted about the burial place of soap, alleged made from Jews, by the Nazis).

Hmm. That reminds me of a post I have been intending to write about the underwear tree adorning another grave in the same area...(stay tuned).

2. Got this Meah-Shearim Purim photo from old friend of the blog, Amshinover (one of those few bloggers who I've actually met in person...)


Is it real or photo-shopped? I'd put money on it being real for the following reason:

In the Ultra Orthodox Meah Shearim and Geula neighborhoods of Jerusalem, they routinely sell colorful lights for sukkot with Santa Claus on the wrapper. When you ask the sellers who the funny fat guy in the red and white suit is, they answer, "Sabba Sukkot" (Grandpa Sukkot) -- and many people there have never even heard of Santa Claus. So why should it bother them that the "sukka decoration lights", imported from China has a drawing on in of a guy in a red and white suit? The suits also look cute on little kids as well...

(And if I can show my Raggedy Andy red-mop-hair in public on Purim, then why shouldn't Meah Shearim kids dress up like Sabba Sukkotlings?


3. Are New York Seminary and Yeshiva students giving themselves a bad name? Apparently so. So many of them hang out in Meah Shearim (which makes me wonder if these are Modern Orthodox or Ultra Orthodox seminaries) during Purim that this year, the residents used a special poisson d'ea la toillette to keep the fair New York maidens and bochrim out of their neighborhood.

The solution was ingenious: Placing stench bombs throughout the main streets in a bid to keep the crowds away from the neighborhoods. It also proved highly effective.

Shmuel Pfenheim, a spokesman for the Haredi Community, described the phenomenon in a conversation with Ynet: "Many undisciplined young women from New York and around the world study in boarding schools in Jerusalem, and they come here and crowd together with a lot of unruly American guys."

He also explained how the stench bombs were made: "Thirty days before the holiday you take from the fisherman fish skin, heads, and various other parts that cannot be used for cooking, put them in a bottle with some water and place the bottles on rooftops under the boiling sun. On Purim eve we spread the bottles in sensitive spots."

According to Pfenheim, "The rascals can get over the stench, but the girls can't stand it."

And how do local residents cope?

"They know in advance not to go through certain streets… those who have to pass there do it quickly and without delay." (YNET)

Glad to be back.

--Jameel

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Haveil Havalim #208

The 208th edition of Haveil Havalim, the weekly blog carnival of the Jewish/Israeli blog carnival is now live. You can find it here.
And don't forget to watch the handy guide on how to effectively boycott Israel right here.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Liveblogging - Breaking Story

We will be live-blogging events throughout the day as they happen in this important breaking story.

Latest news on top (start reading from the bottom up).

5:45 PM PURIM SAMEACH - HAPPY PURIM!!!!!!

5:43 PM Government announces new taxes. Collects booty from slain antisemites. Cabinet shakeups final. Power redistributed. Economy stabilized. Jewish Leadership praised by most Jewish citizens (still can't get rid of those radical Leftists/anarchists). Jewish safety and welfare now ensured.

5:36 PM Jews around the world recognizing the hidden miracle that happened to them. Confirming and Accepting upon themselves for all time a remembrance celebration.

5:34 PM Reports streaming in of Jewish victory parties around the world. Jews exchanging gifts, helping out the poor and needy, and eating (of course). New phrase introduced into Jewish lexicon "They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat."

5:32 PM Second Strike successful! Jewish victory guaranteed.

5:30 PM Jewish Leadership asks permission for Second Strike in capital. Permission granted unconditionally - "Change" is in the air!

4:58 PM As reports of Jewish military victories stream in, the government is in a state of chaos. Officials are changing allegiances. No fence sitting for top officials as they are forced to choose sides. Jewish Leadership clearly taking charge.


4:47 PM After F-16 strike, UN is going to be silent for a long time. Antisemitism suddenly on the wane. Jews talk of opening up Conversion Authority as requests to join Jewish People suddenly jumps.

4:42 PM No surprises here. UN, completely silent until now (except for complaint of Jewish non-compliance with Jew laws), suddenly complains of genocide by the Jewish people.

4:41 PM Fighting has begun throughout the entire world. Jews slaughtering their enemies everywhere. Durban has been nuked. Entire family of hanged government official executed in public ceremony. Secret nuclear weapon facilities hidden throughout Middle East destroyed in Jewish lightning fast strikes.

4:31 PM Official Public announcements that Jews should defend themselves. Weapon distribution centers opened to Jews. Jews preparing. F-16s seen flying over Persian capital.


4:25 PM BREAKING NEWS: Details still unclear. There has been a major cabinet shakeup. The captured Jewish girl (the Woman in Green) has apparently been working undercover with the Jewish Leadership. Antisemitic Chief of Staff hanged on his own gallows. Two-State solution dropped from all official statements and releases.


4:03 PM WHAT GOING ON? Everything is upside down. Confused reports coming from the Government Center. Something serious happened during the After-Party.

We're trying to make heads and tails of what's going on. Will report as soon as we know more.

3:30 PM Government Binge Drinking Party ended, but now there are reports of an after-party.

While we can accept that the captured Jewish girl is confused, but even with assimilation and Oslo Syndrome, going to party after party while we the rest of us are under a death threat!

2:25 PM Random attacks against Jews reported. Drive-by shootings, rocks and rockets.

1:40 PM Reports of Gallows and mass graves being seen in the city.

1:30 PM Government leaders throwing another binge drinking party. Government calling for two-state solution - "up to half the kingdom". Jews in big trouble. Where will help come from?

1:20 PM Terrorist attack averted in Bnei Brak. Arab with knives caught about to attack Jews.

1: 15 PM What utter hypocrisy! We're fasting while some Jewish leaders are parading around the city in their royal finest.

Picture source: Unknown (See comments for attribution information)

1:11 PM It's confirmed there is a plan to kill all us Jews. Nukes, armies, swords, the works. The booty stolen from us is going to go the government coffers.

Jewish community leaders calling for nationwide fast.

12:33PM JoeSetttler exclusive: Jameel caught cross-dressing and driving drunk in an ambulance.



12:01 PM THIS IS BAD. VERY BAD. We are trying to independently confirm the reports of a new government decree that was just announced. Will let you know as details come out.

11:49 AM Rotter reporting that inside government sources are saying that the government is bankrupt, the coffers are empty, and the economic quorum is officially going to announce that the country is entering an economic depression.

Already the Jews are being blamed (like always). Antisemitism on the rise.

11:25 AM LAYING LOW? What in the world is wrong with our Jewish leadership? You call that laying low? The guy (you all know who I mean) is just purposely antagonizing him. How stupid can you get. Doesn't he even think about the repercussions for the rest of us here in the capital? He's probably doing this just because he got demoted. Civil servants. Yuch.

11:23 AM This is bad news. The cabinet reshuffle was worse than we thought. You thought the campaign for "Change" was bad? Now some major leftists have been appointed to key positions. And the Chief of Staff... one of the biggest anti-Semites around. We're in for some rough times, time to lay low.

10:59 AM Breaking News You heard it here first before it was on the news. Bulldozer-based assassination attempt foiled. And of course, a religious Jew stopped it.
Hero's identity is still secret (as per his request), but I guarantee we will uncover the connection between him and the Yeshiva.

10:23 AM WTF? (What the Farsi). Kidnapped girl showing signs of Oslo syndrome. Rumors that she is romantically involved with senior government official!

8:05 AM Well-known religious leader seen hanging out at a street corner in disreputable neighborhood. DovBear expects the worst.

8:03 AM No news on kidnapped girl, but rumors are running wild that the cabinet is being reshuffled.

7:15 AM EXCLUSIVE TO THE MUQATA: Woman in Green arrested by government forces - taken to unknown location. Jewish community leaders hushing up the story. But we have a picture of the kidnapping!


6:23 AM Coalition talks solidifying, but rumor has it that SHE is out of the picture. Good riddance. Not that this kleptocracy is any better.

6:00 AM Jameel is exhausted (and drunk) from partying last night in the Capital with all the big-wigs in the Central Committee. JoeSettler taking over for the day (unless Jameel wakes up).


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Pre Purim Stuff

1. You're in Europe, flying home to Israel on EL-AL. When you land at the uber-modern Terminal-3 of Ben-Gurion airport you wait at the luggage carousel only to discover your luggage was taken off the plane before the plane left Europe.

More precisely, your luggage was "bumped" to allow 2 EL-AL employees to fly, since the plane was overweight, and the pilot decided that it was more important for 2 EL-AL employees to get a free ride home than it was for a paying customer's luggage to accompany them on the flight.

Customer service at its best -- it's all here on Haaretz (in English).

2. If you have a hectic schedule and never seem to have enough time for anything (let alone blogging), the OU has come up with a brand new program to help people get some extra time in for "learning" about Judaism on a daily basis.

If you find "Day Yomi" or even "mishna yomi" too challenging, the OU has come up with a revolutionary program: "Ot Yomi" -- only one letter a day.

"The OU’s Ot Yomit program opens up Torah learning even to those who are able to study only on a very basic level. No previous learning is required; just the willingness to devote yourself to a daily regimen of spiritually rewarding and inspiring Torah knowledge.

If Daf Yomi or Nach Yomi is too challenging for you, this is something you can really do! The Ot Yomit cycle takes slightly longer than either of these two older programs to complete, but learning the entire Torah letter by letter is entirely achievable. Never let anyone tell you it is not so. Just be sure to take the time to read each day’s selection at your own speed—as with any course of study, the more time you spend with the text, the more you will get out of it.

Reading the day’s letter may take you so little time, you’ll want the thrill of studying it again and again!"

See it all here (including an inspiring video on the value of learning just one letter a day....)

3. But seriously, here are pictures from around Israel. Who needs Purim shtick when you have real life here.

"Keep this place clean"

Do the math: The pool is meant for 650 people.

60 people in the pool, 500 on the grass (pool side)

Welcome! Cadet Training Unit.
(sign below to the right, cadets are forbidden to enter)

Smile! Everything is for the best...

Fine, too busy now for much more. Gotta get back to studying the letter "bet" for today.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Haveil Havalim #207

Good morning all,

I don't know about you, but this Daylight Savings Time deal has left me feeling a bit jet lagged. That would be far more acceptable if I actually was lounging on some beach in Hawaii.

Anyway, this is your official notice that Haveil Havalim #207 is now live. Help spread the world please.

-Jack

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Israeli Zoboomafoos Escape Jerusalem Zoo

Israel Galei Tzahal (IDF) Radio reports that Two Lemur monkeys escaped from the Jerusalem Biblical Zoo this morning, and Israeli police and zoo crews are searching Jerusalem's neighborhood for the fleeing primates (pictured at right).

If you spot them, please call the Israeli Police hot-line, 100. Zookeepers say the monkeys normally don't attack human beings.

I'd put my money on the monkeys being headed to the Knesset.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Hypocrisy Week

The world has been celebrating their hypocrisy this past week.


Poster by: David Guy, 54, from Australia/Rehovot, and Guy Gurfinkel, 23, from Shoham.

It shows the Palestinians about to launch a rocket at Israel, while hiding behind an Arab child they've chained to the ground as a human shield. Meanwhile the press core selectively records only the parts of the story they want.

Thanks to AussieDave. I was looking all over for a copy of the poster.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Mystery Religious Jew Kills Bulldozer Terrorist

Rumor has been flying around about a mystery religious guy who actually killed the terrorist, and then didn't want to be mentioned in the press so he took off and told everyone there not to mention him.

Is this mystery hero somehow connected to Mercaz HaRav? That we don't know yet...

But we can confirm that there is 100% truth to this rumor.

The video below is from a traffic camera that caught the attack on video. And caught our hero on camera.

You can see one of the heroes who first shot and neutralized the terrorist - with his tzitzis flying and kipa on his head.

So who is our anonymous hero?




Hattip: to DoubleTapper.
Read more on DoubleTapper, as well as additional videos.


UPDATE

The religious hero is a Rabbi from the Horev yeshiva!

We're still waiting for the Mercaz HaRav connection.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

The Rebbetzin Owns the Ponovitch Yeshiva

Progressive Ultra Orthodoxy?

Last week, R' Avraham Kahaneman, the Director of the famed Lithuanian Ponovtich Yeshiva of Bnei Brak passed away at the age of 97.

Voz is Neias reports:

"Avraham Kahaneman took over the yeshiva, but despite his title as president, he has had little involvement in the past decade due to serious illness. That absence left a power vacuum that essentially split the yeshiva into two institutions in the same building.

Now Kahaneman's son, Rabbi Eliezer Kahaneman, and his son-in-law, Rabbi Shmuel Markovitz - both of whom hold the title of rosh yeshiva and are fighting over the authority that each says the elder Kahaneman gave them - are waiting to hear the contents of Avraham Kahaneman's will, which followers hope will shed light on his position over the protracted dispute."

The "last will and testament" was revealed yesterday...a tiny piece of paper...which bequeathed the entire yeshiva, building, property, financial assets of the yeshiva...and even the coveted name of Director of the Ponovitch Yeshiva...to...a woman?!

Rebbetzin Rivka Kahaneman the widow of R' Kahaneman is now Director of Ponovitch. (source in Hebrew)

Who says that Ultra Orthodox Litvaks aren't progessive?


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Arab Tractor Terror Returns to Jerusalem

"A tractor plowed into a police squad car on Menachem Begin Boulevard in Jerusalem on Thursday. The driver was apparently also trying to hit a nearby bus, but missed.

Two police officers were in the car when it was hit and both sustained mild injuries. [An Israeli civilian taxi driver shot the terrorist, and then...] Other police officers patrolling nearby shot the terrorist.

Magen David Adom emergency services were immediately dispatched to the area. The paramedics treated both the injured officers and the tractor driver, who reportedly sustained severe injuries.

One of the police officers and the terrorist were taken to Hadassah Ein Kerem Hospital in Jerusalem. The other police officer was taken to the capital's Shaare Zedek Medical Center. The tractor driver was later pronounced dead." (ynetnews)

This is tractor attack #3 in Jerusalem in the past year, plus a car ramming attack near Jaffa street and the Merkaz Harav terror attack. In all of the above cases, civilians actively took part in neutralizing the terrorist.

My question is, how is the taxi driver related to the other civilian heroes who killed the terrorists? Did he drive them somewhere? Did he study with them? Who will be the first to find the terrorist-killing Jewish Geography link with the taxi driver hero?


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Need. More. Water.

Thankfully, Israel received a serious dose of rain relief over the past few days, and the Kinneret rose 41 centimeters from last Friday through Tuesday. Every centimeter of height in the Kinneret is roughly equivalent to 1.7 million cubic meters of water...and the Kinneret is still 4.93 meters from maximum capacity -- meaning we're missing over 820 million cubic meters of water.

Even half of that would be amount to amazing rainfall, but we would need an additional 7 rainstorms like the one we just had which is incredibly unlikely.

While Israel is one of the world leaders in high-tech (and lowest cost) water desalination, extreme negligence on behalf of the past Kadima government resulted in Israel being completely unprepared for the impending water crisis. The writing has been on the wall for the past 3 years which is ample time to build desalination plants, yet the funding never came through.

Well, I won't kvetch about the water shortage -- so instead go ahead and enjoy these pictures from a trip to the Galil and Golan Heights yesterday.

Daily Hebrew Update on the Kinneret's water level.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Dames of the Dance

This one is only for Women in Israel!

The women of Gush Etzion on going dancing on the stage again, with only 3 limited performances for charity (Keren Gush Etzion).

The show is about the "Story of Pesach" and the dances include: Stomp!, Hip Hop, Ballet, Modern, Jazz, Belly Dancing (guys, no peaking at the DVD), Folk Dancing, Tap Dancing, and more.

Order your tickets now.

Wednesday Evening, March 18 / Matnas Gush Etzion
NIS 50 each

Sunday Evening, March 22 Matnas Gush Etzion
NIS 50 each SOLD OUT!

Tuesday, March 24 Matnas Efrat
NIS 40 each

Order now, while there are still seats left!

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

HolyLand PhotoShop Fauxtography?

The US Library of Congress has a wonderful, cataloged collection of books, photos and paintings from around the world.

They even have amazing collections from the "Holy Land" dating back to the 1890-1900 era.

Note the unique tree in both of these postcards, from Lod (Lydda) and Mount Scopus (Jerusalem)...and please tell me one of these isn't a fake.

[View from Southwest, Lydda (Lod), Holy Land, (i.e. Israel) -- between ca. 1890 and ca. 1900]

[From Mount Scopus, Jerusalem, Holy Land -- between ca. 1890 and ca. 1900]

They have a nice painting as well of Kever Rachel (Rachel's Tomb) Same era.

However, when I compared it to photos, none of them had an old olive tree to the right...only to the left. Maybe it's the angle? I guess it could be.


This is the way I remember Kever Rachel from the 1980s...

With the advent of the Olso Peace Process, the site's security had to be "upgraded"


The peace kept getting so bad, that it turned into a full concrete fortress.





(credits; here, here, here, here and here,)

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Jameel's Reality Television Show

Hi All,

It is Jack and I am pleased to bring you a special report.

Every year it seems that Jameel disappears and we go through a series of posts that discuss where he is or what has been doing.

Well this year I am pleased to be able to provide the definitive report on where Jameel has been and what he has been doing. Unfortunately due to a rough experience with the LOAG extra security efforts had to be undertaken. But now we can reveal bits and pieces.

During the past several weeks Jameel has been on location filming his very own reality television show. In addition he also been busy working on a special film that is going straight to DVD, Muqata Waffle Madness in which our very own waffle master will teach you how to make waffles like a pro.

Rumor has it that in addition to the cooking class there is also going to be a Workout With Jameel Video. That should go nicely with the Muqata Waffles At Your Workstation Keyboard.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Keep Calm and Carry On

Hi People -- Jameel here.

Yes, I know I've been strangely silent the past week or so, as JoeSettler and others have escaped the asylum and taken over the blog.

Have no fear, I'm fine. I was just overwhelmed with work and personal issues that needed addressing, and I felt I needed a long deserved break after blogging the war around the clock.

During a joust to London last week, I came across the most fascinating sign -- a relic from World War II. This poster was intended to be hung up throughout England to ensure that his Majesty's subjects would remain prim and proper throughout the German bombings of London.

"You can carry on with your business" I can almost hear Obi Wan Kenobi informing a weak-minded StormTrooper:

Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.

Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.

Obi-Wan: Move along.

Stormtrooper: Move along... move along.

(ok, so it was "move along" instead of "carry on", but it was close enough)

Israel's Cast-Lead operation is but a distant memory in the minds of Palestinian terrorists who are back to shooting rockets at Israel on a daily basis.

Five, seven, now ten a day are hitting Israel's south...and the 100th rocket to hit Israel since the IDF's operation has passed.

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert then lets loose silly statements at today's cabinet meeting, "The State of Israel has a broad range of actions that it can take. This range of actions will be exhausted until complete quiet is brought to the south." (ynet)

However, the residents of Israel's south aren't so easily placated:

Paula Kantori, a resident of Shokeda, a town in the Eshkol Regional Council, also feels as though the military operation in Gaza has yet to be concluded. "With all the pain entailed in doing so, they (the military) needed to stay there. In my opinion, we as residents withstood the rockets extraordinarily. So we expect the government and the military to continue to take care of us," she claimed.

According to her, the residents live with no sense of security in light of the IDF's anemic response to the rocket firings. "In the first days that saw rocket fire from Gaza, I was scared. But afterwards, when the operation began, we felt safe, that someone was protecting us. Now we don't have that feeling anymore. We are back to the same old story. We we left, we said we would respond to the first Qassam. Today we have already reached the 100th Qassam," she recounted.

"I feel like an actor in a tragedy, where the stage is the southern region," said Yagil Yavin, a resident of Nir Yitzhak, a town in Eshkol Regional Council. (ynet)

However, Prime Minister Olmert has a hidden plan -- he also printed up posters for distribution in Ashkelon, Sderot, Ashdod, Beer Sheva, Kiryat Gat and Yavneh, and you lucky readers can see them here first in a Muqata exclusive:

And don't even bother reminding Olmert about Gilad Shalit.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

It Has Begun!

Finally! Snow has come to Beit-El!!! After months of waiting, Winter has finally shown up. Here are the pictures to prove it.





Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Jameel Interview

Since Jameel is too humble to mention it himself, and his credit to some of the other writers here may be making them shy as well... here is the interview of Jameel in the latest edition of Yeshiva University's Stern College for Women's newspaper, The Observer. Enjoy!

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד

Pick a Banner...

We're beginning to wonder what banner should be on top of this blog.

Elections may be over, but we still don't have a government.

And since pulling out early from the war, the Palestinians have launched over 100 missiles at us.

In fact, the 2 of the 8 rockets launched today were among the most advanced rockets launched so far.

So advanced that one managed to completely penetrate the fortifications of the Ashkelon school it hit - fortifications specifically added to block the old style missiles they were launching a year ago.

After all, who would have thought that they would have learned how to upgrade their rockets during the course of a year.

I guess the next government will just have to thicken the walls of the schools, and hope that the Palestinian terrorists don't add more explosives to the... Oh, who am I kidding.


School has been canceled in Ashkelon on Sunday.


Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael טובה הארץ מאד מאד