Monday, January 09, 2006

The Sharon Miracle?

Israel's printed press shouts out huge headlines; "Only a Miracle Will Save Sharon." Treading between guarded optimism and outright pessimism, all of Israel is holding it's breath to see if Sharon will survive his current bout with the Angel of Death. Thousands of secular Israelis who haven't opened a siddur in years (if ever) are finding solace in prayers towards the heavens, beseeching mercy for Ariel Sharon's recovery.

TRK's blog imagines what it must be like being an observer in the heavenly court.

I imagine the following scenario.

As promised by Hadassah hospital neurosurgeons, Monday morning, Sharon is slowly awakened from his medically induced coma. Then the miracle occurs. His blood pressure starts returning to normal, neurological electrical impulses start flashing around in his brain, the CAT scan shows no signs of damage whatsoever...

And then, with his sons Omri and Gilad at his side, and to the amazement of the senior medical staff at Hadassah, Arik smiles and slowly says, "Why is everyone staring at me?"

The rejoicing in Israel is unparalleled as the doctors hail his recovery as nothing short of a medical miracle.

His usual Arik Sharon self, he asks to speak to the press on Thursday, ignoring the pleas from his surgeons not to overdo it. 3 TV stations are invited to hear the Prime Minister, as he slowly starts his unrehearsed speech.

Citizens of Israel!

I wish to thank the people of Israel who have cared and prayed so much for my successful recuperation. I'm told that the doctors weren't sure I'd make it, but we (laughing) we showed them, didn't we?

I would like to express my appreciation to Ehud Olmert for standing in as my replacement this past week, and I hope we'll continue to work together for many years to come...after all, we have an election to win in 78 days.

As I lay here in my hospital bed, surrounded by Hadassah's best and brightest doctors, and before the citizens of Israel on TV, I would like to say 2 more things.

Baruch Atta Hashem...HaGomel Lachayavim Tovot...Baruch Atta
Hashem...Shehechiyanu vKiyimanu vHigiyanu Lazman Hazeh!

A thunderous, resounding chorus of "Amen" is heard throughout the land, as Israelis barely keep tears from flowing out of their eyes.


And one more thing...starting tomorrow, Israel is going to liberate Gaza and restart a magnificent enterprise of Jewish settlement!

...at this point, the TV crews quickly shut of their cameras.

Arik Sharon has returned.



Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael

34 comments:

Jerusalemcop said...

great post. lets wait and see what happens

J.

Ze'ev said...

Jameel - I think the last line that's missing is the whole kicker of the post - although that's probably the line that would get you into the most trouble.

Also, I wonder what Omri's reaction to the whole situation would be?

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Zeev: Out of respect to some of the Muqata's readership, and since I was unsure how appropriate it really was...I left it out.

ifyouwillit said...

Possibly the first post I have read implying Sharon might have a return to politics.

There many worse ways this tale could end!

A Simple Jew said...

Oh...how I wish that would happen!

I want the old Arik back.

daat y said...

isn't imagination wonderful-you never know....

yitz said...

HaGomel...Shehechiyanu...and retaking Gaza - methinks that's a far greater miracle than the first part of your dream [that he recovers with absolutely no damage].

B'shuv Hashem et shiviteinu, hayinu k'cholmim!

Zeh Sefer Toldot Adam said...

If only you guys cared so much for the poor in the southern development towns as you did for the land of Gaza...
then you might see some miracles.

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

ZSTA: And why do you think we don't?

Little Wolf said...

Jameel:

Actually perhaps the real miracle of this whole situation is all of the secular Jews (both in and out of Israel) who are not only paying close attention to Arik's condition, but praying for his survival/recovery.
I think that all those who do not pray regularly and are getting solace from praying now may be the beginning of something very special.

MUST Gum Addict said...

It's fun to dream about these kinds of things, but we can't lose the right perspective -- in that G-d is the one who determines what happens in this world -- not Arik, not Dubbya -- and not anyone else. These human mortals are simply His tools for running the world as He alone intended. Everything that has happened until now has a purpose -- one we surely don't understand just yet -- may we all live to see and truly understand His ways.

Tovya @ Zion Report said...

oh the possibilities. i'll hold my breath though.

Irina Tsukerman said...

If only!

tafka PP said...

ZSTA raises a good point- how do we know that you do?

MC Aryeh said...

Very well done. I am so curious now as to the missing last line, though...

Truth said...

ZSTA and TAFKAPP (ooh, groovey acronym):

Isn't the regime responsible for the well-being of its poverty-stricken citizens, in your socialist utopia of humanism?

Perhaps the question really is:

How could the regime, led by the [ex]DiKtator, spend so many billions of shekels/dollars on such a crazed, foolish, and worst of all doomed effort to deport 10,000 or so productive citizens, at the same time as so many poor languish in [not just] southern development towns, that have existed for how many years? Why haven't they developed yet, oh I know, because of selfish, evil fiends like us who go to populate our liberated areas, and developed our towns into financial powerhouses, with over $100 million in exports per year, etc, until they got destroyed by a despot cheered by his knuckle-headed fan-club.


Truth.

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Truth! Chill out...ZSTA and TAFKAPP were expressing a valid point. You don't have to rant at them.

MC Aryeh: Since you twisted my arm, the final summation went as follows:

As the plug is pulled on the press conference and TV's go dark around the country, you hear one of the doctor's whispering to another, "Apparently there was serious brain damage after all..."

Truth said...

jameel,

I am chilled out, buddy, that was no 'Truth Rant', not even close (just ask Joe Settler, GH, DovBear, etc.)

I wish I could receive an answer to my valid questions regarding their valid point...

Anyhow, I'm obviously still a bit peeved over what 'Mr. Rutabaga-Head' did to us before he sprung that brain-leak, but I'll contain myself here now that I see that it's becoming 'Jameel's Comedy Muqata', and part with my own brand of uplifting humour:

[Doctor #1]: WOW! Unbelievable! A medical miracle!

[Doctor #2]: What? Are you crazy? Our Leader just had a brain hemmhorage and is barely alive, what kind of miracle are you talking about?

[Doctor #1]: I don't know about you, but I've never seen 746 pounds of pork turn into a vegetable right before my eyes...

[Doctor #2]: Ah, I see, I wonder what'll grow when they plant it?


Truth.

Anonymous said...

Truth I was going to post a response to your 'valid' questions, but after reading your more recent post and your "own brand of uplifting humour" (sic), I think I'll spare my breath. My life is too short.

Yellow Boy

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Yellow Boy: I'm conflicted over what to do about Truth's comment.

Its very offensive. Period. Not funny, just spiteful.

On the otherhand, I also abhor censorship.

Truth; Would do you us a favor and delete your comment, or edit it to remove your "joke"? It really bothers me, and gives me no incentive to seriously debate any of the valid question you raised.

Joe Settler said...

http://joesettler.blogspot.com/2006/01/basic-math.html

For a semi-related discussion.

Truth said...

Jameel,

I won't voluntarily alter the post in question in any way - you see, I don't post empty words that I don't fully stand behind, that I don't have a sound reason for publicising.

[Of course, you may remove the post-in-question if you insist, and I find it remarkable but not suprising how you of all the bloggers in the whole political-religious spectrum on whose blogs that I posted such things or 'worse', even requested this removal].

If someone doesn't like what I say, they can, if they are able: refute me, villify me [hopefully with some constructive criticism], or ignore me.

Of course, if they are the blogmeister, they can ban me or censor me [and what else is new under the sun?]

Perhaps you should look into these Halachot:

Why Sharon is worse than a 'goy' (if he is even actually halachically Jewish in the first place, but that's another issue):

רמב"ם הלכות עדות פי"א הי"א

המוסרין והאפיקורוסין והמינים והמשומדים לא הוצרכו חכמים למנות אותן בכלל פסולי העדות שלא מנו אלא רשעי ישראל. אבל אלו המורדין הכופרין פחותין הן מן הגויים שהגויים לא מעלין ולא מורידין ויש לחסידיהן חלק לעולם הבא ואלו מורידין ולא מעלין ואין להן חלק לעולם הבא.

Why even family members of one such as this should dress up and make a feast at his demise:

שולחן ערוך יורה דעה סימן שמה סעיף ה

כל הפורשים מדרכי צבור, והם האנשים שפרקו עול המצות מעל צוארם, ואין נכללים בכלל ישראל בעשייתם, ובכבוד המועדות וישיבת בתי כנסיות ובתי מדרשות, אלא הרי הם כבני חורין לעצמן כשאר האומות, וכן המומרים והמוסרים, כל אלו אין אוננים ואין מתאבלים עליהם, אלא אחיהם ושאר קרוביהם לובשים לבנים ומתעטפים לבנים ואוכלים ושותים ושמחים

Surely his actions in the distant past [and only God knows his motivations] were seemingly beneficial - but how is he better than a fiend who builds a large building, encourages thousands of families to live in that utopia that they created from the sweat of their brow and the blood of their people, then the fiend goes and blows up the building to rubble while they aren't home?

The ghoul who dug up the graves of soldiers, men, women and children murdered by our vile enemies, who can still laugh while 10,000 of my bretheren cry, whilst more than 1,000 are dead and mutilated he still can eat [and how], drink and be merry [yes, that was one of his noted attributes, he was indeed jolly] - when he receives his timely blow from Above I am supposed to not only be saddened but pray for his recovery and 'depend on the miracle' that he will recover and mend his evil ways and deeds?

No. While he lived, I prayed and prayed mightily, while opposing his maneuvers, that he would 'see the light' and desist from this evil. Now that he is on his way out, I have one single, final prayer that I will say when the day comes: Baruch Dayan HaEmmet.


Truth.

PS - To those of you who were going to enlighten me with your learned expositions regarding poverty, insensitivity, etc., but now won't because I made an ugly [in your opinion] joke, well, you can go cry me a river [while you heave a sigh of relief that I gave you an 'out' from contending with me]. For every one of you clowns writing your appalled babblings regarding my positions, there are many, many persons thanking me for spelling out how they feel.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Truth you're just sooooo, like, amazing!!!

And such a wonderful Kiddush HaShem!!!

With such a suitable name too!!!

I wish I could be more like you.

Yellow Boy

Truth said...

Yellow Boy: Wow, Truth you're just sooooo, like, amazing!!!

How is that germaine to the matter at hand? And didn't that 'just sooo, like' jazz go out with the Valley Girls? [Yellow Boy?]

Yellow Boy: And such a wonderful Kiddush HaShem!!!

Please refute me based on relevant sources [unless you unfortunately feel that we serve and sanctify God's Name by licking the boot that kicks us].


Yellow Boy: With such a suitable name too!!!

Truth is not my name, it's my occupation and goal; suitability is in the eye of the beholder. Speaking of names, take a look at your chosen one here, Yellow Boy...

Yellow Boy: I wish I could be more like you.

So do I. Actually, I know you could, but you need to take a few steps first and not be too afraid [yellow?] or immature [boy?] to face the consequences of what you learn from the experience...


Truth.

Anonymous said...

Oh, don't stop O Great One. Please tell me more, a mere 153 words (I did count each one, oh yes) does not suffice, cannot quench my thirst.

Yellow Boy

Truth said...

Let's see, as we know from our studies, the name one uses can be quite revealing.

So, we had a look at the name 'Yellow Boy', to try to understand our misguided young brother, and here's what we found:

"Fe3+(aq) + 3 H2O(l) ---> Fe(OH)3(s) + 3H+(aq) "
This precipitate is also called "yellow boy". It is an unsightly, slimy, yellow or orange colored solid that coats the stream bed and discolors the water. "Yellow boy" also has a negative impact on all living organisms in the stream...*


Very apt.

Truth.

* - from: http://www.mines.edu/fs_home/jhoran/ch126/yellow.htm

Anonymous said...

Whereas "The Truth will st you free" I suppose...


Yellow Boy

Truth said...

Yellow Boy:
Whereas "The Truth will set you free" I suppose...


Unfortunately, you prove one of my points, re: the corrosive effects upon our mentality, morality and wisdom of foreign/exilic attitudes:

Who Said The Truth Will Set You Free?

John 8:31-32 "Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." NASB

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Truth:

1. "It is an unsightly, slimy, yellow or orange colored solid"

I thought we were pro orange - and you are the last person I would expect to hear anything negative about orange after this summer.

2. You are right about me not wanting to delete comments. I despise the idea of editing comments or deleting them.

However, while your viewpoint can come through loud and clear through different rabbinic sources, and its worthwhile seeing your comments on Chardal's website (and others) -- the additional "humor" you added does absolutely nothing for your cause or advancement of your position.

One can express themselves in a million different ways that can be conducive to honest and truthful debate. Yet jokes in poor taste accomplish nothing but antagonizing the people I assume you would want to positively influence.

Instead of coming across as the learned and intelligent individual that I believe you are -- people will just ignore you and write you off.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I prove any of your 'points'(such as they are)- YOU also knew the quote!

My point was that anyone can make spurious and childish quips about another's pen name, with or without the help of google, and it remains just that- spurious and childish.

I'm tired of this. You're not a serious interlocutor, thinker or Truth Seeker. You've already dug yourself enough of a hole and my life's too short.

TTFN

Yellow Boy

Joe Settler said...

http://joesettler.blogspot.com/2006/01/truth-will-out.html

Truth Will Out
--------------

There are many things you can say about Truth.

More than one blogger has contemplated banning Truth from their blog. Not because Truth hurts, but because Truth, the whole Truth, and most importantly, nothing but Truth never completely comes through in the real world.

The Medrash even talks about Truth being thrown to the ground so everyone could get a piece of him.

Instead we get Truth wrapped up in layers of biting cynicisms, spiteful remarks, perhaps some half Truths, and certainly interpretations of Truth out of context.

And yet, there are the incredibly valid statements of Truth. Truth’s answers are Truth. And questions of Truth certainly can’t be ignored.

But alas, the message of Truth is too often lost in the envelope it is wrapped up and presented in.

If only there was a way to separate Truth from Friction.

Truth said...

Regarding the above quote regarding 'truth setting free'

In that quote, we see a liar saying to the deluded who believed his lies, what 'truth' is? And that this 'truth' will make them free [of being Jewish/from our God/from His Torah?]

Now, for the Authentic Jewish approach:

"The laws of Hashem are truth "(Tehillim 19:10);

". . . and Your Torah is truth" (ibid,119:142);

". . . and all Your commandments are truth" (ibid, 119:151)

YB: I knew the NT quote because I study our enemies carefully for many reasons [and because as is probably obvious, I despise pseudo-wisdom, particularly the insidious, innocent-looking cliche type]. If you already knew where the quote was from, I salute you.

Regarding 'spurious and childish quips about another's pen name', well there son, if your probably TV-damaged little attention span will let you keep something more than 90 seconds old in your head, go look who made the first move in that 'sputious and childish' game [and I admit, I played too, so what.]

I'm tired of this. You're not a serious interlocutor, thinker or Truth Seeker. You've already dug yourself enough of a hole and my life's too short.

Well, not suprisingly you're tired, maybe it's nap time.

You ought to work on throwing around ten-dollar words like, "interlocutor" without knowing how you actually prove my point once again:

1) - "Interlocutor - a person who takes part in a conversation"

- well I certainly am a serious interlocutor here, I mean even you counted the words...

2) - "Unlike a spokesman, an interlocutor often has no formal position within a government or any formal authority to speak on its behalf, and even when they do, everything an interlocutor says is his own personal opinion and not the official view of anyone."

- I certainly admit that definition as being right on the mark.

In any case, I certainly hope your life is not too short for you to wise-up, and instead of trying to be a big-shot on the blogs, go to Israel while you're still young, join the IDF and when you're done, make a good family [and then be a big-shot on blogs]. If you already did all that, then I salute you, once again.


Truth.

Truth said...

Jameel,

1 - re: slimy orange, etc.
Very funny, but seriously I couldn't care less about colours - and all that happened in the end was the orange got squeezed by a portly dictator and his minions, with sensitive determination (who thinks up these vile brain-poisenors?) [and depending on how deeply versed in popular Hebrew you are, you might recall the common saying/practice about 'squeezing out the juice/eating the orange and throwing away the peels'] ...

2 - Life in Israel: Military duties, ruinous taxation, corrupt, perverse 'representation', bootlicking servitude to foreign 'powers', growing organised [and unorganised] crime, drug abuse and sexual promiscuity.

Those who don't get in an absolute uproar over these things, who 'bless' and 'wish well' one of the [larger] icons of this depravity, but get antagonised by a joke in poor taste [at the expense of one of our tormentors] to the point of ignoring me and writing me off?

Maybe that's the point I'm trying to bring to the surface...

Finally, as our ample dictator so recently made amply clear, the day is short and there is much work to be done, though we may not be able to complete the work, we are not free to desist from it.

A job needs to be done, hard men of Truth and Valour need to step forward and act, and kindly recall what was said about Yiftach the Giladi...

Just consider what kind of persons don't ignore me and write me off, and what we can do.


Truth.

Foreclosure said...

Cool blog thanks for posting this information.

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