Friday, March 16, 2007

JAMEEL RESCUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am very happy to announce two things. 1) I was right, he was kidnapped and 2) Jameel Rashid of the famed Muqata has been finally rescued by my covert team "The LA Chossids." After my informants spotted Jameel, I quickly flew to the "Deadzone" aka, New York and joined my team. So that I wouldn't get hurt or dirty, I stayed next to my car, BUT, I am please to inform you that I was able to photograph all the action, including the dialogue. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is what transpired:











There you have it. Amazing huh? Jameel is safe now, but I bet you are asking yourself who was behind the kidnapping. Well, I'm sure most of you have figured it out. I mean, who else could it have been? I knew it from the start.

Here he is, OUR KIDNAPPER............









dum dum duuuuuuuuum. Yup. Ezzie Goldish. He is currently in custody, but more questioning will be needed. I have my theories as to what drove Ezzie mad to kidnapp Jameel, but I am not at liberty of disclosing that yet. Maybe some of you have some of your own theories.

Anyways, Jameel is safe and sound back at the Muqata, thanks to me, and regular blogging will continue soon like none of this ever happened.



Wherever you are, I guess I'm not getting your stereo

25 comments:

the only way i know said...

HAAAAA!!! HAAAAAA!!!

That was great!
My favourite part was Jameel's monologue as he was being shlepped on the shoulder's of his rescuers!! Hee Hee!!

Well done!!

(Ezzie - You look fantastic! Been workin' out??)

Safranit said...

Thank G-d for Adar....this was fantastic!

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

uh... no mention of the fact that i predicted this? :-P

holy hyrax said...

has no one picked up on the subliminal advertising yet? All my hard work for nothing.


Steg, duh, you're one of the informants, or have you already fogotten.

Ezzie said...

(fumbles around) Where are my glasses?!

David Linn said...

Having been named as prosecuting attorney in People v. Goldish, I am authorized to provide the following list of motives for the alleged crime that we are presently investigating. I repeat "alleged", one can't be too careful what they say about others on a blog. I wouldn't want to be sued for defamation. Anyway, the motives:

1. Ezzie will do anything to get someone to watch Cavs games. And, really, who would do that without being kidnapped, drugged and having their eyes propped open with toothpicks?

2. Ezzie is jealous that Jameel got more props than he did for the podcast.

3. When the two met for dinner last week, Ezzie agreed to pay. Someone forgot to tell Jameel that US$875.00 is not that same as 875NIS. Jameel proceeded to ring up a wopping bill, the guy can eat waffles and grilled chicken to no end but no one realized that he could eat them together.

4. A female investigator in our office came up with this one: Ezzie is jealous that Jameel is better looking than he, I mean, look at those eyelashes.

Finally, someone should advise Mr. Goldish that "busy season" is not a defense to the crime of kidnapping.

Stam said...

HYSTERICAL, but you have way too much time on your hands...

muse said...

Hey, Ezzie, is that your work uniform?!

Jack's Shack said...

HH,

If you were forced to grow up in the giant slum known as cleveland and had to root for the second rate sports teams there you might be disturbed too.

The good news is that there is a cure. Ask Stacey, now that she has spent most of her life living outside the burning river she is almost normal.

Don't worry Ezzie, there is a cure.

MUST Gum Addict said...

Nice Photoshop work. You must have taken one of my classes :)

RaggedyMom said...

Listen, the food at the Flushing holding pen is awful. (It's better that I don't discuss how I know.) Maybe I can hop over there and bring you some of our extra food for Shabbos?

David Linn said...

Careful Raggedy, you don't want to get pegged as an accomplice.

mevaseretzion said...

:)

Thanks for the pre-shabbos laugh!

Irina Tsukerman said...

LOL!

Ha, I knew it!

Next up:

"The LA Chossids Take Hollywood by Storm"

holy Hyrax said...

btw- Im not saying it is, but that body closely resembles that of Panama's own, Manuel Noriega
:P

Ezzie said...

RM - PLEEEEASE! :D

David - ROTFL x 2 :)

holy Hyrax said...

Maybe I can hop over there and bring you some of our extra food for Shabbos?

You are such a Jewish mother its sickening. :)

Ayelet said...

LOL! Hilarious! HH - considering your obvious spelling handicap, at least have the good sense to use spell-checker when it is available. I would be most appreciative.

~ Sarah ~ said...

hahaha ahahahahah.... very big LOL!!

holy Hyrax said...

just for that Ayelet, consider all spelling errors to officially rise from this day forword.

YMedad said...

Hey, guys, this is beginning to turn into too much of an "in" joke. Soon, Jameel will be akin to the old departed Abu Amar - all locked up in his Muqata with nowhere to go.

the sabra said...

see, now THAT was funny

Anonymous said...

The numbers Ezzie is holding:

http://www.4815162342.com/

Jack's Shack said...

They add up to 36.

Chana said...

Ezzie said...
(fumbles around) Where are my glasses?!


Where's your kippah? ;)

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