Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Ode to Jack, the Bishop of Bullfrog

For those of you who haven't been following, Jack has been having a fascinating email exchange with a Nigerian spammer in his hopes to raise his wealth index.

Unfortunately for Jack, the spammer's promises of massive wealth never materialized, even though he did get some great blog material out of it. Jack even posted a picture of himself on his blog.

To comfort Jack, at today's daily Muqata writer's meeting after shul, we sat around drinking a lechayim to the coming month of Adar, and churned out the following ditty for him. The "SH" in the song is pronounced as "Shhhh..." as in, "Shhhh", don't tell anyone about this rediculous, Adar induced song.

Got a wacked email last week, made me cough up my drink
even came out my nose...it was COLA.
C-O-L-A Cola

The email promised me weath and loads of cash
I asked him his name, and in a Nigerian way he said, "Shola"
SH O L A, Shola, lo lo lo Shola.

I'm not the world's most law-a-bidin' guy,
but that email he sent seemed to me a crime,
Oh my Shola, lo lo lo Shola, lo lo lo Shola

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
he sends such junk, 'spects us to BELIEVE his spam
Oh my Shola, lo lo lo Shola, lo lo lo Shola

Well, we emailed and partied and blogged all night,
under the glare of monitor light,
He tried once more by email, so slop-py
He said, "Hey Jack, just take a chance with me?"
Well, "I'm not the world's most clueless guy,
so I gave him the number of the F-B-I.
No way I could fall for Shola
lo lo lo Shola

Put on my royal green robe, and looked like a frog
Even outted myself on my blog, made us ROFL with glee
Sent it to him, then he ignored me.

Well that's the way that I want it to stay.
A great story, about a spammer called Shola.
Sh Lo lo lo Shola.

Didn't get no cash, didn't even see any green
But that blog-pic of Jack made us all scream
'cept for Shola. Sh Lo lo lo Shola. Sh lo lo Shola.

Well, this story started just a week ago,
Never made money from a spammer before
Shola smiled and said "its just spam"
he said, "Hey Jack, I'm still your biggest fan"
Well I'm not the world's most masculine man,
but Shola too weird even for a blog fan.
And he's Shola.
Sh lo lo Shola. Sh lo lo Shola.

Wherever I am, my blog turns towards Eretz Yisrael


Jerusalemcop said...

excellent parody, but I still prefer Weird Al's version about Yoda



Dreams from a Parallel Life said...

These scams are commonly known as 4-1-9s ('You've been four one nined'). It's become one of the biggest forms of white collar crime after identity theft for law enforement agencies. http://www.secretservice.gov/alert419.shtml
If you look around, you'll find a site showing proof that some Brits have managed to actually scam the scammers by enticing them unto thinking that a huge sum of money is soon to be available and all thats needed is a few hundred dollars to cover legal expenses.

Tehilimzugger said...

An acquaintance of mine last week shelled out more than $1500 for a sax he bought on eBay. Turned out the seller's email was a fake.

Jack Steiner said...

Thank you. I enjoyed that.

swiftthinker said...

Fabulous! If only this were an audioblog.

Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

great poem very funny
you are cool and jackshack is amazing
my latest post with Jackshack just reached 142 comments

ifyouwillit... said...

My brain shifted gear and I read it using a VA accent. Can imagine a grandmother sharing the tale while knitting in her rocking chair on the porch.

You feeling Adar yet?!

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...


i like the Suha Arafat ones.

Batya said...

Oh, Shila lah, lo?
and a ho ho ho!

... Is the Window to Our Soul said...

Brilliant. That's really cute.

Unknown said...

Heh. :)

Anonymous said...

Well I'm not the world's most masculine man,

Hey, it doesn't get more masculine than drinking beer while wearing a frog suit.

Search the Muqata


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