Tuesday, July 03, 2007


MC ARYEH hott geshribn: "The only thing less appealing to me than crustaceans is fake crustaceans. And the only thing less appealing than fake crustaceans is kosher fake crustaceans. In case anyone has forgotten from a few lines ago, crustaceans are GIANT SEA BUGS!! Fake crustaceans are simulated GIANT SEA BUGS!! Kosher fake crustaceans are certified kosher simulated GIANT SEA BUGS!! "

I have to take issue with the attitude expressed in this statement. Which is one of sneering negativity towards lobsters, and doubt regarding the sanity and judgement of those who love them.

I disagree not because I like lobsters (they make lousy pets), or could not live without them (myeh, maatjes herring hits more spots, and better), or because lobster is the epitome of taste and grand cuisine (an assertion that would beg the question why lobsters were considered fit only for poor coastal peasants for several centuries), or even any overblown food-fetishism.

I am not particularly fond of lobsters, and need not ever touch one to be perfectly happy for the rest of my life.

I disagree because my eishis chayil, being a Cantonese female person, has this absurd seafood thing. It's the result of generations of ancestral conditioning.

Do not criticise a Cantonese woman's food-choices.
Do not stand between a Cantonese woman and food.

We're talking about someone who, though much smaller than myself, would object fiercely and probably with a cleaver if I spoke ill of lobster.

It is a very sharp cleaver.

On the other hand, she's easily mollified.......
[With a bouquet of lobster.]

What I'm really saying is that I object on Savage Kitten's behalf. I defend the noble lobster out of informed and sensible self-interest. All hail the beauteous craggy-carapaced crustacean.
[Giant sea bug! Giant sea bug! Giant sea bug!]

Wherever I am, my giant sea bug turns towards Eretz Yisrael

1 comment:

tafka PP said...

I spent 4 weeks drawing one once for an art project... I'll happily hail.

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